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Have you ever been chased from a field by a shotgun-wielding maniac? Ever removed city arseholes from your field whilst innocently carrying a shotgun? Tell us your farm stories.
( , Thu 24 May 2012, 13:19)
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To all you city folks badgers are cute stripy chaps with sweet inquisitive faces. To those of us that actually have any dealings with them they're basically really big scary rats that want to hurt you and/or your animals.
I used to keep ducks - they're very useful in a small vegetable garden as they eat all the slugs and snails and other pests (apart from certain caterpillars) and they also lay rather tasty eggs. Plus when you're finished with them they're pretty delicious themselves. Not that I'd know as the badgers got to them all first.
One time I heard a big commotion from the garden and got outside to see a badger ripping the throat out of one of the ducks. I chased the bugger off or so I thought, and then went to kill the duck as humanely as possible. Then I realised the fucker had snuck back in and was doing its best to catch the other duck.
I was fairly annoyed at this point. I hate killing things, especially if I can't eat them afterwards. In my rage I picked up a broken metal post and lobbed it at the badger. I missed of course and the badger sauntered off without a care in the world. But the post ripped my hand open as I lobbed it and I got yet another scar.
Another time I got a bit of a fright when I tried to chase a badger off with a stick. I slipped over in the mud and for a moment it looked like it was going to turn back and eat my face. But it obviously couldn't be bothered and waddled away.
EDIT - I just remembered... when dusk started and we had to go and put the birds away to keep them safe I'd always have to say "STOP - badgertime!" A couple of years later and sometimes just after it's got dark I have a moment worrying that I haven't put the birds away...
( , Mon 28 May 2012, 16:16, 10 replies)
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( , Mon 28 May 2012, 17:00, closed)
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oh, the fucking humanity.
( , Mon 28 May 2012, 17:20, closed)
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I'm sure the badger targeted his ducks just to be a cunt, and NOT AT ALL because they were a convenient trapped meal.
( , Mon 28 May 2012, 20:15, closed)
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but in the heat of the moment I was quite miffed.
( , Mon 28 May 2012, 23:38, closed)
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I've got an alibi. Even though I don't know when it was. I don't even like lovely, lovely duck. honest.
( , Tue 29 May 2012, 9:48, closed)
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buy one, magazine fed if possible, leave the magazine in, NOT COCKED!!!
A badger comes near cock the rifle, take your shot (you'll miss the first shot it's human instinct.)
Take the second shot hopefully wound it go out and put it out of it's misery...
Then throw it over onto the next door neighbours garden!
( , Tue 29 May 2012, 4:16, closed)
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killing badgers is illegal and bad I have to admit I was tempted on a couple of occasions.
( , Tue 29 May 2012, 12:58, closed)
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well I'm outwitted on a fairly regular basis by most things to be honest
( , Tue 29 May 2012, 21:49, closed)
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