A bloke at work
Has such horrendous eating habits that he wouldn't be out of place on a farmyard! In fact, even pigs might look at him in disgust.

You can be sure that wherever there is a drink, it will be slurped then swilled around his mouth before being loudly swallowed. Apples are eaten with mouth fully open during chews, this lets you hear the wettest sounding chomp since Nemo had breakfast. He can make a packet of crisps rattle the paintings with the crunches that at the same time sound wet (i think the guy has a hose pipe in his mouth)

It makes me self conscious of how I eat which is even more annoying
(Dr Zoidberg is going for a scuttle, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:21, 7 replies)

I used to work with a woman like that
In the end I left the office every time she ate anything, it just made me feel sick :/
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:23, closed)

Noisy eaters can fuck right off.
I used to live with someone who tended to lick their plates and leave them on the lounge table. So rather than a crusty plate, you got a plate with fuck-off big cowlick down it.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:28, closed)

Fucking hell O_o

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:29, closed)

Ugh - 'lounge'?
Just ugh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 16:35, closed)

Had a surreal experience on the tram once of which this reminds me.
A guy had bought a can of Coke and was standing in the middle of the tramcar during rush hour, drinking it in the following manner:

1. Take a mouthful of drink by placing your mouth on the perfectly vertical can and applying as much suction as you physically can, allowing your lips to samba about in a rainstorm of drool over the top of the can in the process;

2. Swish the drink around in your mouth;

3. Lift your head slightly and gargle with the now-flat Coke whilst singing a mezzoforte vocalise in the key of G;

4. Swallow and smack your lips as though you have just polished off a hog roast;

5. At no point in the entire process must you acknowledge even slightly the rest of the carriage, staring at you and openly pissing themselves.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:10, closed)

That can only have been for a bet
Or possibly a symptom of something
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:30, closed)

He looked more the symptomatic type than the betting type, to be honest.
Not that the categories are mutually exclusive.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:32, closed)