Baby talk:
not the ridiculous shit that you hear coming out of someone's word-hole when there's a kitten around, far more offensive ( to me ).
Several colleagues have been impregnated within the last year or so, like some kind of insane relay race, and the fallout is hearing endless conversations about every aspect of their mewling spawn's existence. Literally everything a baby does is deemed to be of informational value, the variables, parameters and analysis of which goes on most of the time: eating, sleeping, walking, puking, farting, crying. All the daily activities we take for granted, having developed enough to do unaided.
And the cards. The endless cards.
The 'So, You Got Knocked Up. Well Done You' card coupled with demands for accompanying money. The 'Sorry You're Leaving To Pop Another One Out' card. The 'Congratulations, Just The One Head On This One' card and, finally, The 'Welcome Back To The Treadmill, Got Your Lottery Ticket?' card.
And just when I've managed to tune it all out to background noise?
The fucking relay has started again, with the same players!
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 9:46, 5 replies)

So much virgin resentment. So little time.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 11:25, closed)

Not annoyed but confused.
I have always been puzzled when people say 'Congratulations' to the impregrated one. What is this supposed to mean? "Well done, you got laid". Or "You finally did it right then?". Just seems a rather strange thing to say.

"That's wonderful news" doesn't always work as a replacement either, especially if the sprog is an accidental 7th child or the father could be any of the local rugby team.
(GingerIrishTosser isn't dead yet., Sat 6 Oct 2012, 13:54, closed)

I can identify with this.
An old boss of mine had the catchphrase of "Aahmm 'avvin' a baybeee!" for 6 months.
Now most people in my age group have at least one sprog though thankfully my best friends are as misanthropic as me so I've still some people I can talk about things other than children with.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 13:56, closed)

Seems like
Vicarious prostitution. Paying someone else for fucking.
(SwampyBob, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 13:58, closed)

I dare say I'm guilty of this to some extent
Although I would say I am asked by my work colleagues at least eight times a day how my offspring are doing. So if you not interested don't ask.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 16:05, closed)