Zebra crossings
Stopping at these is not optional for motorists. If you keep on driving when I am crossing, don't act all shocked when you hear a mouthful of abuse and my boot hitting your rear wing. Similarly, cyclists, slow down, please pay attention, and at the very least go past behind me, otherwise you'll get a shouting at as well.

Pedestrians, make your mind up if you want to cross instead of dithering about. If you are just having a bit of a stand, please do it away from the crossing.
(aglet, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 16:00, 11 replies)

I used to cross on a slight bend, near a posh school.
Even the lollipop lady was wary of the mums shooting round the corner well over the 30 limit.

As I was just off the kerb when one hurtled round, deliberately going on to the wrong side of the road to avoid me and the lollipop lady, I gave the rear wing a well placed kick with my boot.

Did she stop? It could have been a kiddie in the road but on she went.

I can understand if people just jump out, but this was with someone wearing a hi-viz jacket holding her arm up.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 16:13, closed)

I like all this "it's alright to damage someone's vehicle if they've endangered others and broken the law".
Guess I'm in the right to break someone's wing mirror off if they've parked near a school?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 16:19, closed)

On the pavement, maybe.
I don't know if my boot damaged the car shooting past, but if someone takes a gamble with another persons life, just to get home 10 seconds quicker, then I consider the damage a fair trade-off.

I spoke to a copper about this once, and they said that if I'm on the zebra crossing and the car deliberately fails to stop (i.e. changes lane just to go around me) then they'd have a very poor case indeed to complain about criminal damage.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 16:35, closed)

Deliberate damage would be bad
but dear me, I don't do deliberate damage. It's just unfortunate if I get thrown off balance and in flailing around to stay upright just happen to come into contact with the offending car.

Letting down the tyres of cars parked on the pavement is fun, though. For added yocks, unscrew and remove the valve centre so they can't be reinflated with a pump. Or so I am told.
(ubergeekian, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 19:22, closed)

It's all a bit council estate.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 19:30, closed)

This happens at a zebra crossing all the time at my local supermarket. I can only assume that the fuckwits using the supermarket car-parks have been before, therefore know the road lay-out. But no, still oblivious to the rather large black and white lines stretching across the road.
I'm contemplating whether or not to indulge in a little non-life threatening 'accident', just for the compo!!
(cargoeng, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 16:29, closed)

Maybe if you're crossing, carrying a bag full of tins...
And it just happens to hit their headlight as you're half-way across.

Put some tomatoes or something in there to splatter red around too, just for effect! :-)
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 16:37, closed)

Actually...
This is rule 19 of the Highway Code:

"Zebra crossings. Give traffic plenty of time to see you and to stop before you start to cross. Vehicles will need more time when the road is slippery. Wait until traffic has stopped from both directions or the road is clear before crossing. Remember that traffic does not have to stop until someone has moved onto the crossing. Keep looking both ways, and listening, in case a driver or rider has not seen you and attempts to overtake a vehicle that has stopped."

So it's only mandatory once there is someone actually on the crossing. Drivers are required to remain stationary until everyone is off the crossing (i.e. they cannot drive off once they have a clear space in front of them). One with an island in the middle is two crossings, so you can drive off if the crossing in front of you is clear.

I have, on several occasions, had to slam the brakes on because someone has just walked out onto the crossing without stopping and without the slightest concern for the oncoming traffic because they assume that everything has to stop for them. This is not the case.

Also, crossings on private property are not, strictly speaking, mandatory as the land and the crossing are not governed by the Highways Act. Most of the ones that I have seen are not technically valid anyway as they have not been constructed with the correct street furniture and line markings, so would not be enforcable even if they were under the control of the Highways Act.
(An eejit passing by in a purple satin skirt with sparkly bits, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 17:46, closed)

Good
I'm glad someone pointed this out - pedestrians only have right of way on a zebra crossing once they're on it, and they're supposed to wait for any traffic that is around to stop before they start to cross.

Similarly, pedestrians on Pelican crossings only have right of way once the green man is lit.

I don't say this just as an occasionally-frustrated driver, but as a pedestrian who doesn't really want any legs put in traction.

Those of us born before 1990 are generally aware of this, because most of us have seen Dave Prowse or whomever telling us the Green Cross Code.

Nowadays, even if they were still shown, the Sky+-toting herds would never know 'cos they'd fast forward to the bits on X Factor where Tulisa leans right forward so you can almost see her tits.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 16:16, closed)

Used to happen all the time near my house when I was out pushing the little one
in her pram. It is quite a straight bit of road, good visibility in both directions but near two distinctly different establishments, one expensive private prep school and a builders merchants. I never had a problem with builders, white van men, lorries etc. who without exception would but on at least three occasions was nearly halfway across and had large-spectacle clad ladies swerve around me. A pram is a pretty fucking big object even if they could claim not seeing me (!) and I didn't generally take risks with my daughter by pushing her into the road unbidden. On top of these occasions there were numerous times they would suddenly accelerate hard from distance to get there before I could safely step on etc.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Sun 7 Oct 2012, 19:52, closed)

Last week
I was cycling to work in the dark and the pouring rain when a couple walked straight out onto a zebra crossing without looking. The car in front of me braked and swerved suddenly, and thus so did I, except whereas the car stayed on its four wheels, I fell off my two. No physical harm done, but part of my bike was broken and the pedestrians flat out refused to admit they were in the wrong. According to them, the green man was showing so there was no need to look left or right before stepping into traffic.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 7:59, closed)