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This is a question Driven to Madness

Captain Placid asks: What annoying things do significant others, workmates and other people in general do that drive you up the wall? Do you want to kill your other half over their obsessive fridge magnet collection? Driven to distraction over your manager's continued use of Comic Sans (The Font of Champions)? Tell us.

(, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 12:11)
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"Chick lit".
Confessions Of A Shopaholic - shopaholism doesn't exist, you're simply shallow, vain, vacuous and stupid.

Mini Shopaholic - kill yourself. Seriously. Do it.

The Wives Of Bath - "A tale of yummy mummies with flat brown tummies"

Also, "oholic". It's "ic". An alcoholic is an alcoholic because they are addicted to alcohol. If you are a cocaine addict, you are not a cocainaholic.

And you are not addicted to chocolate. You are just a fat pig with no self control. You are not addicted to shopping, either, you're simply shallow.

And anyone who says "You can't judge a book by it's cover" - in which case, why do publishers put so much work into the cover illustrations then, you dick? Of course I can - I know I am not going to enjoy "Confessions of a shopaholic".

And "If you liked XXXXX then you'll love YYYY" on adverts. You are just reminding us normal people that there are people that stupid, that fucking unquestioning, that pathetic-minded, that they will do exactly what they're told. This is depressing - stop it.

Anyone who thinks "celebrity" is worth a fucking toss.

People who say "ikkle", or - worse "ikkew".

Women who put on a little-girl voice when they want something.

Men that tell you what women like.

Men that talk about being "alpha".

People with kids.

People who take their kids to the pub.

Humans, generally - worthless, shallow, egotistical arseholes.
(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 12:33, 11 replies)
Sir, I wish to order a copy of your "From misogyny to misanthropy in ten easy steps" self-help course :D

(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 12:41, closed)
I fucking lurve you.
(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 12:58, closed)
I love vag too.

(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 13:13, closed)
Can't fault any of that
especially the penultimate point. I was once in a pub garden in Camberwell having some supper, and some alternative middle class hippy types whipped out a fucking potty for their toddler to do a shit in, in full view of everybody else. I thought this a bit mental at the time, and seldom venture south of the Thames any more
(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 13:19, closed)
That sums you up perfectly.

(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 13:26, closed)
Fuck yeah
Have a click.

The rest of you can just FUCK RIGHT OFF!!!!
(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 14:40, closed)
I am 100% alpha
which is to say, I am entirely opaque.
(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 15:41, closed)
It's always nice to get an outsider's view on our species

(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 17:04, closed)
I always thought people were only referred as "alpha", "beta" etc. in anthropology textbooks, or on 4chan.
That said, I find it hard to believe that anyone could use an obvious internet word like "cisprivilege" in real life without laughing out loud.
(, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 19:17, closed)
No - it's a thing among dickhead competitive blokes about trying to be the best in the room.
They talk about "being alpha", and "out-alphaing" other blokes. It's quite cringeworthy, and very, very annoying.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 9:39, closed)
Fucking hell.

(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 22:10, closed)

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