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This is a question Driven to Madness

Captain Placid asks: What annoying things do significant others, workmates and other people in general do that drive you up the wall? Do you want to kill your other half over their obsessive fridge magnet collection? Driven to distraction over your manager's continued use of Comic Sans (The Font of Champions)? Tell us.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 12:11)
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Council bureaucracy
I applied for a job as a pedicab (rickshaw) cyclist in Edinburgh over two months ago. I got the job on the spot, but needed a street trader's licence. The process is as follows:

1. Apply to the council.
2. Two-week mandatory waiting period to allow any interested parties to object to my being granted a licence.

During (2) the council sends off for reports from the police and the "community services team" (whatever the fuck that is). I know for a fact that I will come up completely clean in both respects. I've never even had a speeding fine for Christ's sake.

Eight weeks. Eight weeks to type my name into a database and confirm nothing came up. A job that could be done in ten seconds.

Eight weeks.
(I helped save b3ta! MatJ LOOK, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:14, 10 replies)
it's because of your history of kiddyfiddling.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 18:17, closed)
it's because of your history of kiddyfiddling.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 19:17, closed)
It's because of your history of kiddyfiddling.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 19:39, closed)
Oh that
That was all in the 70's...
(I helped save b3ta! MatJ LOOK, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 23:03, closed)
It's because of your history teaching children the violin
Or so I've heard.
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 19:54, closed)
Just be thankful they don't check
on how many double-posts you've done or whether you know the difference between pedi and paedo.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 20:07, closed)
I do not understand this post

(I helped save b3ta! MatJ LOOK, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 23:03, closed)
That's ok petal.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 10 Oct 2012, 0:39, closed)
City of Edinburgh Council
are not exactly known as paragons of competence and honesty. The trams spring to mind, as does the statutory repairs scandal. Combining the two, it seems likely that you'll get half a permit at a huge price, three years late, as long as you buy a council official a BMW.
(ubergeekian, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 22:08, closed)
It's because anything starting with "ped" now sounds the Nonce Alarm at EVERY council office in the UK.
And also, do you not fucking REALISE how long it takes me to send ALL these letters objecting to EVERY SINGLE ONE of you rickshaw fucknuckles plying your 'trade'? You proliferate faster than the fucking T Virus.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Oct 2012, 4:01, closed)

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