"It's a fair cop......"
Another one from my mis-spent 20's.

1995 - Clubbing in a Stoke on Trent repetive beats, strobes and fog sweat-pit. 5 of us all off our mash on E. A pretty non-standard excursion from our usual bonging and playing cards. Top night.

3am - on the A500 D road heading towards the M6 from Stoke - all 5 of us have a spliff each, all 5 of us are carrying varying "cognitive enhancers" - doing 70, still off our mash and listening to loud tunes in the smoke filled car.

The smoke in the car turns blue.
We all look at each other
The smoke in the car goes blue again.
We all look at each other again.
The smoke in the car goes blue and we hear a siren.
We panic - Tim starts eating his stash, swearing and pleas to the Lord fill the car,

I stub my doobie out on the sole of my shoe - showering hot blims into the carpet.

Steve (the driver) starts to slow down and we are screaming, asking him what he's doing - we're in trouble and we fucking know it.

Steve was suddenly replaced by Harvey Keitel from Pulp Fiction and in the calmest voice I've ever heard said - "Chill out, crack all of your windows open a touch - I've got this!"

We did what he said and sat in silent terror - he pulled over into the layby. Engine turned off, Dibble pulled up behind us and we heard the heavy footed clomping of impending arrest walking towards the car.

Steve wound down his window and Dibble got the door post of the car with his torch out - shining it in Steve's face and then it happened

"It's a fair cop officer - the drugs are up me arse!" blarted Steve.

The copper lost it, burst out laughing and said "Fuck off home lads - drive safely"

We did as the man asked and erupted in the car, I have never laughed so hard.

Steve took his place in my pantheon that night, right next to Chow Yun Fat.
(Catchag "You know!....For Kids!", Wed 21 Dec 2005, 12:46, Reply)