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This is a question Drunk Parents

Watching the old man swing home from the pub and start arguing with Newsnight can be either funny, slightly unnerving or just plain terrifying. Tell us about daft things parents have done while they've been in their cups.

Suggested by NotDavidBailey, voted for by YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 17:58)
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You lying alkie crybaby.
Why don't you go and listen to Paramore and scratch your boyfriend's name into your arm with a pencil sharpener while I have a nice big wank?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:39, 1 reply)

ffs
(I helped save b3ta! enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:01, closed)
What?
I'm not allowed to make a fucking joke now?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:12, closed)
FWIW
Your comment did make me chuckle into my lunchtime coffee.

I quite like Paramore.
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:22, closed)
Success!
I confess I'm not even sure who they are ... I just googled for "soppy emo bands".
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:24, closed)
it has got quite stupid
them not you that is.

it's like they aren't even reading what you post now, just getting upset about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:30, closed)
Like a baying herd of Sun readers round someone who looks a bit Muslim.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:44, closed)
ALLAHU AKBAR!

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:46, closed)
or lists their job as paediatrician

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:02, closed)
Stone them
Drive them out. The dirty dirty bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:58, closed)
Shambles is the new me.
Happy Phantom's even started following him around for fuck's sake.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:06, closed)
you've been gaining admirers for your medical knowledge
I bet you must be thrilled.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:10, closed)
I like to throw in the odd curve ball every so often.
It's utterly confused Kip.

Still, he does have the consolation of a stripper for a girlfriend.

As an aside, I'm astounded that no-one's cried at me for pointing out the very obvious horseshit in this.
b3ta.com/questions/drunkparents/post1101367
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:19, closed)
I know the girl you refer to
and she's his gf/ex's sister (I think), and she is actually a pole dancing teacher

I think no one has cried because it sounds a lot like horseshit, and you actually have some weight of knowledge to back it up.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:41, closed)
You're making a good point on that one
it's fucking shit.
(I helped save b3ta! disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:43, closed)
There you go
happy now?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:44, closed)
Nicely done.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:02, closed)

make as many jokes as you like. knock yourself out.
(I helped save b3ta! enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:39, closed)
That's very kind.
Just let me know when I cross the line, boss.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:46, closed)

If you think that will help you, sure.
(I helped save b3ta! enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:48, closed)
Would you like a hug?
I give famously great hugs. They sit on that perfect cusp between soothing and terrifying.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:52, closed)

All good for hugs thanks, but I am touched by the generous offer.
(I helped save b3ta! enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:53, closed)

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