And here we have a QOTW just for me...
Loads of them, really. For instance, I was once cutting the limbs off of a tree I had just felled when one of the branches whipped around and threw the fast-running chainsaw across my knee. I then realized that not only was I alone and had to drive myself to the doctor, but I had a manual transmission and had to push in the clutch with that leg...

And that was only a couple of years after I had been in forestry school.

EDIT: I suppose I should fill this in a bit.

The branch in question was doubled over, and when you see that you stand well clear of it knowing that it's going to whip around like a spring. I didn't.

The saw took out about 4" of skin just above my left kneecap, but fortunately didn't hit the tendons. When it happened I stood there in shock for a moment, knowing what had just happened, then realized that I was still standing so it wasn't that bad. I then realized that I couldn't deal with it at that moment, so I put away the tools and cleaned up a bit before going inside to take off my jeans and look at my knee.

I inspected the damage, said a lot of very bad words as I realized that I was going to have to push a clutch with that leg, then took out a roll of packing tape- the stuff that's like masking tape, but two inches wide- and wrapped my knee in that to hold things together. I pulled back on the bloody jeans and drove about 10 miles to the doctor who treated my kids and was told by the nurse at the desk that if I didn't have an appointment I couldn't see the doctor- at which point I told her that I was bleeding on her floor, and she took me to the examining room.

Once it healed, my wife- a nurse- declared that there was no need to go anywhere to take out the stitches as she had brought home a suture kit from the hospital and could do it herself. I sat in a rocking chair as she dug around under the sutures with the tip of the scissors and told me to stop being such a wimp as I tried hard not to vomit on her head.

It was less fun than it sounds.

ps- nurses are made of pure evil.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:11, 8 replies)

Wow!
I hope you have a good scar to show people.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:19, closed)

It's most impressive.
It goes across my left knee just above the kneecap and is about four inches long.

I figure that it balances the equally lovely scar on my right elbow from when I broke my arm when I was six.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:22, closed)

Ouch! *Shudder*
You got off rather lightly by the sounds of it?
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:47, closed)

Ooh..
Ow.

Have you ever noticed that when you really, really hurt yourself, you don't swear?

Whereas a minor toe stubbing causes you to emit a tirade of random expletives..? Or is that just me?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:56, closed)

"Have you ever noticed that when you really, really hurt yourself, you don't swear?"
I noticed that when I came off my motorbike and did my arm in (tiny fracture, no real worry, but hurt like hell).

I didn't swear. I felt more of a tired relief than anything else, as if I was happy that I wasn't hurt more than I was.

Whereas I imagine minor things like stubbing your toe end up with you cursing your own foolishness.
(Musuko, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 14:05, closed)

I think it's something to do with being a forester
Well, obviously the chainsaw is. I meant more the ability to cause hideous injury with total oblivion to pain.

The ex-Mr Rakky is a forester. He once, while staking out holes for some fencing on some kind of Scottish Forestry trust land, smacked a six foot metal pole straight through a power line. The resulting explosion luckily blew his hands clear of the pole (while still attached to his body), but also sent him a good 10 feet across the ground. It also took out the power supply to the whole of the south pentlands area for a while. he just got up, dusted himself down, had a cheese sarnie and carried on.

To be fair, scottish power had provided him with a map of where the cables were, which was wrong, so he can't be entirely blamed!

*clicks*
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 14:28, closed)

Go your wife
I would have done eaxactly what she did!
Plus i bet she enjoyed it!
n ps Nurses r not pur evil, we are the ones that stop doctors from killing patients!
ha
(snugglesacks, Sat 22 Dec 2007, 22:36, closed)

Snugglesacks
You break my heart. Now I find out that you're a nurse? Jeez, another one off my list. Because yes, nurses are either one of two types- genuinely caring and nurturing people whose patients are very important to them, or callous uncaring harpies who see patients as a collective pain in the ass that they have to deal with while they worship at the feet of the doctors they work for, and look on the rest of us with contempt because they deal with life and death every day, as opposed to us civilians who do our petty little jobs and then whine to them when we get injured.

You can guess what type I was married to.

Medical professionals in general are permanently off my list, period.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 28 Dec 2007, 19:32, closed)