Oh, Cherie...
Cherie was her name... well, I thought it was, but I'd misheard her. It was Sharon. I saw her every morning on my way to work; she walking, me cycling past. One day I plucked up the courage to stop and talk to her; a few days later (unbelievably), she phoned me! We arranged to go out...

A few more days later, we went to the pub, where we sat and passed a couple of excruciatingly awkward hours with me trying to find things to talk about and her replying with a shrug of the shoulders and "I dunno" - even when I asked her what she wanted to drink... I may have actually manned up for a second and said "You must know what you want to drink!"... but I probably didn't, so scared was I of offending this (quite sexy) lady.

A few days later again, and I invited her round to mine for a few drinks and maybe watch a film or something ("or something", eh? Nudge nudge wink wink, say no more guv'nor!). Sadly, in the afternoon beforehand I made the mistake of eating a whole bag of dried apricots. By the time she arrived my guts were rolling around and grumbling like Gimli in a tumble-drier.
My planned evening of film, drinks, snog and maybe more actually became an evening of film, sweats, running to the toilet for another fizzy apricot bum-gravy episode, hoping it was the last, only to repeat a few minutes later.

She left when the film ended. At the door, I asked "Shall I call you?"

"No, I don't think so" came the predictable answer. I was well and truly dumped.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 20:50, 5 replies)

Did you still have to see her every morning on your way to work after this?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 2:00, closed)

Thankfully no, as I started getting a lift with my mate instead of cycling :)

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:24, closed)

is this where I get my suaveness ftom?!

( ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 8:50, closed)

Hahaha
No, I built your suaveness out of balsa wood :D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 13:25, closed)

fizzy apricot bum-gravy episode
best Friends episode ever
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 13:27, closed)