Here's a job I want.
I've noticed that an awful lot of big artists like to have lots of people on stage with them. Frequently one of them will be a guy playing that cigar...thing that you rub with a pencil. You know, the thing they gave to the class spacker in music lessons just so he could join in.
So essentially you get to put "Professional musician" on your CV, travel the world and have sex with groupies. All right, the groupies the road crew don't want but it still counts. And all without having to have more musical ability than a 10 year old who's been kicked in the head by a donkey.

My easiest job: Civil Servant in a department the bigwigs had mucked about with. The things I'd been trained to do were no longer being done by that department. The things that were now being done by that department, nobody ever got round to training me to do. Even when I asked nicely. I could do the bulk of my workload in about an hour. Twumb twiddling skills therefore honed to Shaolin Monk levels.
Couple of times I got as far as the entrance lobby then thought "Sod it", used my mobile to ask for a day off and went home.
Sorry.
(Big D, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 13:05, 1 reply)

"Professional Musician" doesn't look good on a CV unless you're talking to other musos, though.
One of my friends is a professional french horn player for a Northern orchestra. When she's between seasons she gets office work etc to keep busy. To this end she has two CV's... one with her music qualifications, experience and so on, and one that barely even mentions it in the "hobbies" section.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 14:53, closed)