Wife/ life confusion
I have a vague acquaintance with someone whom, for the sake of this story, I shall call Harry. That is not his name, but I do see him on occasion, and it's possible that he - or, more likely, mutual friends - may be a b3tan.

Harry was married. He was trying, as far as anyone could tell, to blend personalities with his wife - whom he would call "Wife".

In the mornings, his first question to Wife would be, "Wife, what am I wearing today?" She would lay out his clothes. And she would lay out identical clothes for herself.

Yup. They dressed identically. And not well, either. The phrase "Mickey Mouse t-shirt" should tell you all you need to know.

The pattern was repeated elsewhere. At a restaurant, he'd say, "Wife, what am I eating?", and they'd place identical orders.

The marriage didn't last. How could it? Marriage involves another person, and Harry and Wife had blended into one entity. Absent a second person, the marriage evaporates: you can't be married to yourself.

I sometimes wonder if his life was designed as an experiment in Hegelianism...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 10:54, 7 replies)

you're right
you can't be married to yourself. The sex would be boring. (Or, in my case, awesome.)

Why are Sexmonkey and al never around when you need them? And by 'need' I mean 'want', and by 'want' I mean 'want them to post their usual drivel profound and insightful theories'?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:11, closed)

...
Sex is ALWAYS boring when I'm around. I don't need people to stay away for that.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:14, closed)

I don't believe that for a second
Why, just yesterday al was talking about your gaping anus, and quite frankly good sir, you don't get a drippy, Sarawak-esque rectum if you haven't been more than a little bit adventurous between the sheets.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:36, closed)

You rang...?
I don't know what Hegelianism is, and I'm too lazy to look it up.

I've been very happily married to myself for several years now, and the sex is AMAZING. I do occasionally have to use toys though, and the aid of a water-wing is sometimes required.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:23, closed)

Raaargh!
Brainsssssssss....

Happy Hallowe'en etc.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:25, closed)

Aiiiiiieeeee!!!!

(I know I've done this before, but it's hallowe'en)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:25, closed)

*munches brains*
*looks up Hegelianism*

Ooooh.

*munches Google*
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:28, closed)