GFootball, Oliver Cromwell and the Global Elite
I watch a fair bit of football, and travel the country watching my beloved team. There is often a group of us and we generally get blind drunk, swear lots and upset as many locals as we can. This in every day terms may be frowned upon, yet when it comes to footbal,l this behavior is deemed perfectly acceptable. Not only acceptable, but fucking well imperative. Anyway, one particular game, Middlesboro away I think, I got chatting to this guy in a bar. I was talking to him about ex-players who have gone on in their retirement to become public speakers or comedians, making money telling stories about their careers. Anyway, this guy was quite well read and told me about this ex-footballer who had gone onto do something similar. A bit drunk, yet interesting in what I was hearing, I politely wrote this footballers name down on a beer mat and told the guy I would check him out when I was sober.

The next day I decided to read up on the guy in question, David Icke his name was. He was forced to retire from football at the tender age of 21 due to chronic arthritis. Upon reading about this guy, it became clear, he not only had arthritis, he was also madder than a box of frogs. I remember at the time of looking this guy up I had just finished reading the biography of the late, great Peter Cook, who was a total genius but also eccentric and somewhat troubled. I remember thinking, fucking hell, this guy is an equally avantguard individual.

Since his football days, David, or crazy Dave as I am calling him from now on has devoted himself to researching the puzzling subject of who and what is really controlling the world. Ickes theory, basically revolves around some central group of higher powers he refers to as the ‘Global Elite’ who basically call all the shots. Interesting theory I’m thinking, until wait for it, this global elite is in fact made up of ‘Reptilian Humanoids’ and figures such as Tony Blair, Queen Elizabeth and Oliver Cromwell were indeed Reptiles. For the record, Oliver Cromwell was not a fucking Reptile, Oliver Cromwell was a great man, and the fact that his statue that stands at the end of Whitehall has not transformed into some psychotic nemesis to the Mighty Morphin power rangers, makes me feel David is pissing into the wind with this theory.

Anyway, this barmy fucker has been preaching this shit for years, brandishing statements such as, descendants of the reptiles engage in child molestation and satanism. He has wrote 15 books about his theories and oddly only dresses in the color turquoise.

As I continue to read upon on this bizarre yet equally interesting character it’s clear crazy Dave is some sort of camp Nazi and thus has been accused of antisemitism, claiming that the Holocaust was actually the work of the Jews and Adolf Hitler was in fact funded by Jewish banks.

You could not make half the shit he’s preaching up. I just can’t believe he is English and not American. Sorry to any offenced caused to our beloved state side friends but you do tend to have a knack of exaggerating and sensationalizing stuff. In fairness though, I do agree that tragedies such as 9-11 and the Oklahoma bombings were government funded operations. For what reason I have no idea.

Seriously though, have a read about this guy, he’s definately what I would call eccentric.
(Sir_Digby_Chicken_Caeser [email protected], Sun 2 Nov 2008, 20:56, 8 replies)

His theories are pretty wacked out..
..but no more so than a significant proportion of the internet at the moment (see infowars etc.). He's actually played down the lizard thing and wearing the colour turqoise in recent years and if you read between the lines he had a few experiences with psychedelics that prompted those ideas. He's not anti-semitic, at least, and I for one find him half-interesting, half-laughable.. and totally harmless.

If you look beyond the imagery, and at what he stands for, then he's no more freaky than the average president of the US.
(lost, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 21:42, closed)

Documentary
there was one on the UK telly earlier this year.... I was right with him untill he started drinking a can of Tennants Extra (Sucking the Purple as they say in Irvin Welsh) I mean. You have all that money at your disposal, you could drink any lovely bottled or canned beverage of your choice... but that?
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 22:11, closed)

awwww
sucking the purple? he has gone up in my estimation!
(Sir_Digby_Chicken_Caeser [email protected], Sun 2 Nov 2008, 22:18, closed)

I've got one of his books (sucked in ); Children of the Matrix
Started flicking through the biggest secret in WHSmith years ago unable to believe what I was reading! Its not even filed under fiction.

Hasn't he researched lots of other sources for his info though. The bit about the Queen mother feasting on sacrifice and morphing into reptilian made me LOL, but its entertaining enough to read.

I ended up watching some 'interesting' footage of Bill Clinton reportedly shapeshifting into a lizard on youtube . . . yeah, 5 mins of close up of Bill blinking away to the Floyds 'Goodbye Blue Sky' . . . I'm not wholly convinced
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 4:22, closed)

"I just can’t believe he is English and not American. Sorry to any offenced caused to our beloved state side friends but you do tend to have a knack of exaggerating and sensationalizing stuff."
YOU FUCKING SAID WHAT!? USA USA USA.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 10:24, closed)

sorry, wha?
Oliver Cromwell was a great man? You mean, aside from the whole slight side issue of what he did to Ireland?
Reptile. Rep-tile. It's in the eyes.
(jennymnemonic, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 11:41, closed)

Icke
LOL yeah I've got Children of the Matrix as well. Willie Nelson is also apparently one of our 'Reptilian Overlords'
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 11:50, closed)

Ollie C
Oliver Cromwell was a bastard.

And thanks for making me feel terribly old. I remember when Icke was still on the telly and the idea that someone in the pub had to tell you who he was makes my head asplode.

Am 32
(Cock it says kapow!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 17:07, closed)