How to get 6 firemen and a couple of coppers to run around like loons for about a minute:
1. Buy brand spanking new motorbike.
2. Take bike out for a spin with girlfriend on the back.
3. Have drunk driver slam head on into the car in front of you.
4. Plough into back of said car at about 40 mph.
5. Sit dazed at side of road with broken arm, comforting girlfriend with broken ankle. Wait for emergency services to arrive.
6. When they are milling around cutting people out of cars, have girlfriend look at the chaos and say "Oh, look what they've done to our baby!".
(username failed moderation, Mon 20 May 2013, 8:30, 20 replies)

Did she get booked for wasting police time?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 May 2013, 8:48, closed)

Of course.
She didn't have a leg to stand on.
(username failed moderation, Mon 20 May 2013, 8:56, closed)

Boom boom.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 May 2013, 9:24, closed)

What sort of person taks a baby on a motorbike?

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Mon 20 May 2013, 9:22, closed)

The sort of person who's
got a motor bike and a baby...duh.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 20 May 2013, 9:28, closed)

I knoa,
rite?
(username failed moderation, Mon 20 May 2013, 9:33, closed)

A rebel who doesn't play by YOUR RULES, man.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 May 2013, 9:46, closed)

Nobody does anymore.
Olga stopped playing by my rules ever since I got caught short and took a shit on the corner of Trafalgar Square. Frinday night is no longer Monopoly night :(
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:06, closed)

New idea for a game, right there.
A Monopoly board printed on a giant wipe-clean Twister mat type surface. For houses you make a little puddle of wee, for hotels you put down a shit.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:40, closed)

Frozen Turd Jenga

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:44, closed)

Gimp Buckaroo
Conversly, the more items you dress him in, the less chance he's likely to be able to move.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:45, closed)

Scattleships

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:46, closed)

Pister

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:51, closed)

:)

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Mon 20 May 2013, 12:47, closed)

Poodo

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 20 May 2013, 11:48, closed)

Guess Poo?

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Mon 20 May 2013, 12:52, closed)

Mouse Crap?

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Mon 20 May 2013, 21:28, closed)

A cynic would say...
You were going to fast and hadn't allowed a safe stopping distance between you and the vehicle in front.

[Shakes head knowingly and tuts]
(Barnetboy, Mon 20 May 2013, 10:56, closed)

If the car in front of you
is suddenly propelled backwards towards you because another car has crashed head first into it, then the safe stopping distance becomes a bit moot.
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:36, closed)

It was something like that.
Plus, not a lot of brakelights going on.

Anyway, despite having hit the back of the car, my insurance claim was settled by the pissed drivers, so I don't reckon anyone was blaming me.

Except my girlfriends dad, of course.
(username failed moderation, Mon 20 May 2013, 11:53, closed)