True.
I went to a Roman Catholic all-boys private school.

My mate and I were absolutely tight - very rarely without each other.

But he was the one who, in our early teens, ended up needing "private lessons", in which the priest regularly put his hand down my mate's short trousers.

Did my self-confidence a whole lot of good that did.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 13:32, 11 replies)

Christ
You mean you're so ugly that even the paedo priest ignored you?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 Aug 2010, 14:22, closed)

It would seem I was something of an ugly duckling, yes.
Now, however, I'm absolutely bloody irresistable.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 14:31, closed)

Is this another bloody film?
You're just doing this to make me look daft, aren't you?
(Cave Duck, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 14:47, closed)

No no - the above story is absolutely true.
As is the fact that I'm now absolutely bloody irresistable (although they do like to play "hard to get", "oh dear god no" and "I swear to god I'm calling the police right now".)
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 14:51, closed)

Er...sorry to hear that you weren't bummed.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 Aug 2010, 15:33, closed)

You should sell that sentiment to Clinton's Cards
They could start a new line of "Congratulations on leaving private school/prison/the navy" cards.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 15:35, closed)

and they could do a nice line in novelty inflatable cushions for those who weren't so (un)lucky.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 Aug 2010, 16:17, closed)

You could have your own face printed on them
And "Wish You Were Here".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 16:28, closed)

Sounds like your mate was tighter than you
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 16:14, closed)

Hahahahahaha
Actually, I fully realise this subject is not really that funny at all, but my mate is well over it and there was no physical or mental damage done - he hardly ever hurts anyone these days. If anything my mate just thinks the priest is pathetic character.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 16:27, closed)

Hmm I was tempted to make a joke about tightness, but child abuse is just not funny...
( Vambo, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 20:09, closed)

not even with glove puppets

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 20:58, closed)