So I'd been drinking and smoking with these two girls who had just been posing for the Pirelli Calendar, and we decided to go back to their hotel room which they shared.
Once there, one of them pops out the biggest bag of Charlie I've ever seen, pushes the other onto the bed, and proceeds to line up and snort enough to fly a herd of elephants.

"Let's get proper naughty!" she says, and her mate pushes her back onto the bed and does likewise.

It's decided that we play naked Twister, and, since they haven't got a Twister mat or board, we have to find other ways to entertain ourselves.

After one of the singular most amazing evenings of my life, that morning I discover that one of them had a boyfriend who was due to come and meet her that night, but couldn't because he was stuck at work!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:25, 12 replies)

Yup, I was running late 'cos I was banging Cheryl Cole up the wrong 'un all night.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:43, closed)

LIES
She's got malaria and wouldn't be up for it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:44, closed)

That's just PR spin.
She's actually just a bit shagged out.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:03, closed)

After a long squawk.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:04, closed)

I can almost believe this.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:49, closed)

Supermodels, MASSIVE DRUGS...
...all thats missing is the Honda Accord.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:54, closed)

well
it was a conundrum until I realised that coloured dots can be represented by different materials easily available in a hotel room. For instance the minibar is a great source for peanuts and a line and four could represent 'red', you could also snip pieces of bedding or curtain to represent other colours, thus have your 'twister board' for a fun game. A miniature whisky (or gin) bottle from the mini bar could also be spun with sample pieces like the peanut in a 'clock face'.
a call to reception would likely have been fruitful to see if they had other board games available and thus solved your pastime issue.

On reflection I think the playing of 'naked twister was just a seductive gambit to lure you into less savoury activities and most probably sexual in nature.
In addition Vagabond drinking and smoking is damaging to your health please think again about that lifestyle and its effects upon you and your tyre posing lady friends.
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:00, closed)

fucking liar. michelin sluts they woz.
(XmanX captain upsetter hahahahaha, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 11:00, closed)

Good for you!
Is it is nice to hear about your blossoming relationship. We all hope to hear wedding bells for you soon. XXX
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:25, closed)

Oh I won't be marrying either of them.
You know me - I'm a cold heart-breaker fit to burn, and I'll leave you lying on the bed.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:52, closed)

It's "fit to burn and I'll rip your heart in two"
Misquoting Guns n Roses is surely worse than pushing a cat in a wheelie bin.
(don5nake, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:33, closed)

Correcting someone on their quotation of Guns n' Roses, however
is worse than a forrin committing peedofilias.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:38, closed)