Morphine
I have just had surgery on my Lung to stop it collapsing. Once I had waked from the surgery, I was given morphine on a clicker.

Now, a few years back i had used morphine in a different operation - and it just made me sick. So I was non-plussed about finding the same medication on a drip into my arm. So for a few hours I just ignored the clicker and simply put up with the pain in my chest

The 'Pain Nurse' paid me a visit and explained to me that I must not have used it incorrectly, because if administered correctly it can have good pain killing properties.

As I had nothing better to do and since all my relatives and friends had advised me to 'take advantage of the morphine' I set it upon myself to push to the 'morphine limit'

So I began.

*Click*
(Feel the cold morphine seep up my arm)

*Click, click*
(Another longer burst of morphine chills my veins)

still nothing, happening - a slight wooziness but nothing more than having a few pints

This is rubbish

*click click......

(3 hrs later)

I have now discovered i can dream by simply closing my eyes. Everything is the best thing ever, and my ward has changed from a standard 40ft long ward, to an underground Nazi Missile bunker. I was completely unaware it was a hallucination ,and thoroughly believed this was real.

Then it went bad...

Real bad... My friend in the bed next to me decided to get out of bed and lunge at me with his vampire'esque teeth, at which point I couldn’t tell if my eyes where open or closed... the hallucinations became more and more horrible.

I dropped the clicker and took cover under my duvet...

Then spent the next 3 hrs being horribly sick.

Then I lent over the bed picked up off the floor

*click*

*click click*…..

The worst part was the pain never went... i just became less bothered by it...
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:24, 2 replies)

Opiates
Are a twat in general. They make you melt into beanbags.
(hypnoticme is an anarcho-syndicalist commune, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 0:51, closed)

Sort of useful at times
I don't generally get on with opiate pain killers (and keel over about 30 mins after taking them) but I do remember waking up after knee surgery in immense pain and seeing a big syringe full of morphine get pumped in and I just didn't care after that, sort of removed from it.
I had a friend who had a bike crash and broke various bits of his leg and foot below the knee who had the best description of entenox (happy gas on ambulances)
"the world turned pink and moved a foot to the left". I think that somes up some pain killers quite well.
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 11:23, closed)