B&Q Tannoy System and Customer Experiments
I spent a while working in B&Q in Sutton whilst in the 6th form. After a particularly boring Saturday morning, me and one of the section managers started trying customer experiments with the tannoy system. The first announcement was:

"Will the man with the beard come to reception please"

Classic. Eight blokes with various styles of beard turn up. We tell them none of them are the right one. Next announcement:

"Will the man with the beard who looks like The Master from Doctor Who come to reception please"

Very hard to keep a straight face at this stage. Two more customers turn up at reception (one of whom had come up on the previous announcement - but thought he might look a bit like The Master). Both told despite having a passing resemblance to The Master (and beards), they are not the droids we are looking for.

Carried on this game for some time, including some crackers like:

"Will the customer who has left an mechanised automaton in the car park please come to reception"

Three people turned up "in case" ????

"Will the lady in the short skirt and high heels please come to reception"

"Will the owner of the mobility scooter currently on fire in the car park come to reception"

One petrified granny turns up on a zimmer. (felt guilty about this one)

Anyway, we got away with it for several hours till the store manager got wind of it. He went mental.

Not really much about experiments I suppose.
(Mandrill, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 2:39, 8 replies)

This
actually made me giggle.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 6:26, closed)

haha!
*clicky*
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:01, closed)

Bwhahaha!
Utterly class

"Will the man with the beard who looks like The Master from Doctor Who come to reception please"

:D
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:23, closed)

^This reply says it all.
*clicks*
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:02, closed)

Genius
Should have posted this last Thursday - surefire winner :)
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:49, closed)

Heheh
Brilliant! *clicks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:20, closed)

haha!
"Will the man with the beard who looks like The Master from Doctor Who come to reception please". Love it.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:48, closed)

Hee hee
*click*
( snee held his breath since, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:00, closed)