My stag night in Brighton
And I end up naked and handcuffed to a lamppost in the central reservation of The Esplanade in Brighton.

Cars are honking their horns, people have their windows down shouting at me. Then come the gropers - men, women, TV's Transexuals etc. My arse gets smacked red raw, women grab my tackle in the most unladylike manner and dig their nails in and numerous people simulate oral and simulate taking me from behind.

Then my saviour appears. A WPC driving a riot wagon. She stops next to me and asks me if I'm alright? I sheepishly say yes. She asks me where my friends are and I nod to the reprobates on the opposite side of the road howling like hyenas. And then my saviour says: "Have a good night" and Foxtrot Oscars off!
(vikingaero Deilvered To Your Door in 30 mins, Sat 10 Aug 2013, 21:34, 7 replies)

your 'friends' hate you.
Even the police hate you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 11 Aug 2013, 10:56, closed)

Even I hate him Monts.
He's such a cunt he even makes Frisbee Alan look dignified.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 11 Aug 2013, 11:50, closed)

And Frisbee Alan's a proper cunt, as well.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 11 Aug 2013, 16:28, closed)

Frisbee alan's such a cunt that he's the second biggest cunt in the world.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 11 Aug 2013, 17:00, closed)

compared with these jokers Ainsley Harriott is not a cunt at all

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 11 Aug 2013, 20:24, closed)

Brighton doesn't have a road called The Esplanade
But I expect you were handcuffed to the same place we handcuffed a mate of mine on his stag night. Rather than naked, we'd dressed him in a basque, fishnets and stilettos.

Someone had to do up the poppers on the basque thing, the ones under the crotch. I got the short straw. I now know more about his nutsack than I ever, ever wanted to. *shudders*

Just like you, two coppers walked past, checking he was OK. As they wandered off towards the pier, I heard one of them comment to the other, "I would".
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 11:03, closed)

Hilarious stag do pranks are essentially an admission that your entire life is shit and your prospective wife is ugly.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 11:22, closed)