here, have a somewhat-tenuous-but-not-intended-to-be-homophobic comment...
my mate billy used to work for a recruitment company. he looked after their website where people could post positions they needed filling. naturally they got a few jokers.

the best one that ever slipped past billy though was a job for a:

'temporary fudge packer'
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:21, 3 replies)

I for a very brief period in time, was a fudge packer. Hilarious irony.
I turned down the position in the dairy for cottage cheese taster.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:23, closed)

Did he, by any chance, have a ten foot willy, which, following a rake-related incident involving his neighbour, is now only 4'4"?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 13:25, closed)

My friend William...
...has an extremely large appendage...to which he displayed to his young female neighbour.
She thought is was somewhat serpentine in nature and hit it with a garden implement.
His appendage is now considerably shorter.
(dchurch bah, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 14:26, closed)