FailedOn my third driving test, I turned right out of the test centre, reached a pedestrian crossing, attempted to run over a little old lady, was prevented from doing so by the examiner grabbing the wheel, then proceeded straight back to the test centre.
The drive home was very, very quiet. I've never felt such a complete failure.
What have you failed at?
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chthonic, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 10:21)
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Kama Sutra ChampionI entered the 2005 World Kama Sutra Championships in Amsterdam. The rules were simple: enter the competition individually and be paired with a stunner of the opposite gender. Then engage in all of the prescribed positions. The winning couple is that in which the male does not shoot his load.
My partner was a dusky Latino babe with a figure to make the Pope whip out his schlong. Long black hair, captivating eyes, hips made for delivery and a chest that you'd want to lap honey from. In no time we were doing the Reverse Crab Cake and my tip was nuzzling her cervix via a channel of the most exquisite moist flesh.
The secret to winning is thinking about something more mundane. But as she settled on my roost for the Sweetcorn Triple Viper, I accidentally took in her perfect figure and felt her sliding on to my enraged member with full appreciation. Fortunately, thinking of Margaret Thatcher's face saved me that time ...
But all was lost when we went for the penultimate Hot Dog Wheelbarrow. The sight of her rounded rump athwart my jack-hammer turgidity, and her silken baps swinging like fruits on the vine , set in motion a orgsm that was measured by seismologists in San Francisco. I must have pumped a pint of jizz into her enclasping dell.
Naturally, I failed to win. But she took me home later to complete the full programme with the Pancake Fritter Splits. That one took a lot of kleenex to sort out.
(, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 13:05, Reply)
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