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This is a question Faking it

Rakky writes, "We've all done it. From qualifications to orgasms, everyone likes to play 'let's pretend' once in a while."

So when have you faked it? Did you get away with it? Or were your mendacious ways exposed?

(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:16)
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Apple picking
I once applied for a job as an orange picker in Queensland, Australia. I said I had picked fruit on a professional basis for over 5 years, but the truth was I had only ever bought it from the shop.

The terrifying boss gave me a trial run along with a few others. He handed us all these aprons with pockets at the front for putting the fruit in, but I somehow put it on upside down. I tried to get it off and tripped over the strap, and fell over. I don't know how but I somehow got stuck inside the apron, lying in a fetal position, strapped up and unable to move.

A couple of others that weren't too astonished to move helped me out, and the boss roared "YOU'RE NO ORANGE PICKER!".

I said "No, as I said before, I'm an apple picker".
A kind swiss man confirmed "ze apples is so different to ze oranges, please don't be too harsh".

I was given the benefit of the doubt and was promoted to lemons within 3 weeks, until I got a spider stuck in my ear (another story).
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:48, 1 reply)
Heh, heh.
I did my time picking fruit and veg in Queensland, where I met the two friends who were instrumental in my moving to Wakefield (I'll forgive them one day). One of them was as colour-blind as you can get, which might be seen as an impediment when asked to pick *only* red or *only* green capsicums (peppers to me and thee), but since he was one a fuckoff great picking machine with about 30-40 other smelly backpackers and conveyors belts all over the place, he lasted almost a week before they managed to pinpoint the idiot who was ruining every batch...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:12, closed)

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