Outwards face
I faked quite a lot. I faked my personality. This caused some problems and some good stuff in that the fake became the reality.

An explanation. When I was a teenager, I was terminally insecure, shy and sexually obsessed. Just like a large majority of teenagers in fact. And then at the age of 17, I went to university. This changed a lot of things purely because I realised I had the chance for a completely fresh start. No-one there knew me. They didn't know the embarassing stuff about me, they didn't know who I was or what I was like. I could be the kind of person I always wanted to.

So I started to fake it. Probably not very convincingly of course, but I tried. I made myself out to be confident, outgoing and most of all amiable/likeable. I faked caring about people instead of considering them to be bastards. I started to drink alcohol a bit, to fit in more, as that's what the majority of people did. I met up with a series of very nice guys and solved that pesky virginity problem. In essence, I pretended to be the guy I wanted to be.

I kept this fake going for a long time.

It's eight years later. I'm twenty five, and finishing up a PhD. And... to a large degree, the fake has become the reality. I now drink alcohol because I like it. I don't just pretend to like people - I really do like them and care for them, especially my close friends. I like to believe that I'm amiable and get along well with people. I'm certainly not the guy I want to be yet, but I've gotten a lot closer. And I don't need to fake things any more, I'm happy enough with who I am now. The rest can go over time.

So am I faking it? Not any more.
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, 5 replies)

I don't think that's faking
It's just you realise you can't continue to live as the person you were before. I did very much the same thing after being sick of being an insecure wreck.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:53, closed)

The attractor factor
There is a theory that if you want something enough and focus on it in a positive way you are likely to attract it to you. Maybe b#llshit, but sounds like you did it! Glad it worked out for you.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:07, closed)

The
person you were before Uni wasn't a fake.

Just as you, now, aren't a fake.

They're all still you.

We all move on from who we were. And, hopefully, we all change to being better people. (At least in our own eyes)

There's been several incarnations of me. Most of them I'd hate if I met them now. I'm no longer as brash, prone to fisticuffs to settle an argument, or as arrogant as I once was.

We all change, we all grow, we all leave behind who we once were.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:52, closed)

*click for that*
Because I went through exactly the same thing (I had to check the username to make sure I hadn't posted it and forgotten about it).
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Sun 13 Jul 2008, 20:17, closed)

*click* Yup, me too.
I took the opportunity at University to start over with my reputation and gain confidence. It helped that I wasn't the only science geek on the block, too.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 14:33, closed)