I didn't feel like practicing my violin
and I really can't be arsed to learn music. A music class was a requirement I had to fulfill so, for three years or so, I pretended to play the violin. During a large concert, we stood up dramatically and flipped our music stands over and played a piece from memory. Only I hadn't learned the music. Even if I COULD see the sheets of paper I wouldn't have been able to read it! So I did what I normally did: I played my violin, but not the right notes. I just played any notes. Any notes at all.

After the show was over, I gathered my things and started to run home to change out of my crappy skirt and tights. But I was approached by the girl who had been sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME throughout the concert. She said, "Hey, I heard you playing! It was GREAT! You've really been practicing!" I never owned up.

A year later when I grew REALLY sick of the violin I broke it. Then I gave it to a girl in class and asked her to tune it for me. When she held it, the neck came off the violin and she thought that SHE had broken it. I cried. How could I possibly afford another violin? She appologized. My teacher gave me an A for the rest of the semester.
(BrainSurgerysFun, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 19:42, 4 replies)

When I had to play at the Sydney Opera House
I turned my bow over and faked it.

Not that it was a big deal to play at the Opera House, it just meant I had graduated Suzuki Method book 1. But it was still scary.
EDIT- and when I got really sick of my violin- I hocked it.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Sat 12 Jul 2008, 1:52, closed)

Wow
At least you had the courtesy of music lovers to turn the bow over...didn't even think of that. I must have sounded terrible but nobody genuinely seemed to notice.
(BrainSurgerysFun, Sat 12 Jul 2008, 2:01, closed)

no real need...
... to turn the bow over, and it ould be seen. Just deaden the sound with your fingers. (I've not tried this on a violin, but it's something guitar players do all the time for strings they don't want to play.)
(Not him., Sat 12 Jul 2008, 12:18, closed)

My brother
Seemed to be able to play the violin quite well. But his sense of timing was very slightly out.

He used to play in an orchestra, and from the stalls, looking up admiringly at my wee little brother fiddling his heart out on stage (ooh, err...) you could clearly see that he was exactly one note behind everyone else. One note, for the entire performance.

He then got sick of the violin and eBayed it.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 10:38, closed)