I grazed my knee
a few days ago. I'd swear the scratches have got infected, only it's artificial.

It's a false E-coli knee.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 13:29, Reply)

I suddenly have an irresistible urge to drink coffee.
And I've no idea why.
(Joy Division Oven Gloves Death to false metal, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 13:15, Reply)

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
In my association with an odd organisation running children's holiday, I had to deal with some odd notions of economy. I've posted the story of the idiot who saved less than two quid in postage by sending train tickets second class at a cost of £400 in replacements. Two more spring to mind ...

1, Tesco value instant coffee. Only the words "Tesco" and "instant" in that name bear any relation whatsoever to reality. When I took over at a holiday site I used to chuck the stuff in the bin and bring out the freshly ground stuff, shamelessly buying staff loyalty.

2. Tesco value baked beans. I was scolded for buying expensive baked beans instead of Tesco value ones at 12p per tin. So I opened a tin, poured the contents into a sieve and washed the juice away. Result: one not-quite heaped desert spoonful of beans. The economics look a bit different when you realise that you can get three or four kid's portions out of a tin of Heinz as opposed to two tins per kid with the crap.

tl;dr: Tesco value.
(ubergeekian, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 12:56, Reply)

Got 10p of Lenor
Saw Fred Titmuss
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 12:13, 3 replies)

Just got back from the chemist after having my daily methadone. It occurs to me that methadone is
a false economy, why can't we have some nice heroin on the NHS. I am sure that it would be much cheaper getting heroin from Afghanistan. I demand NHS managers be forced to go on a nice fact finding trip to Kabul and surrounding areas to find out if I am correct.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 11:55, 6 replies)

Alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 9:39, 5 replies)

sun is shining
might go play on the swings ... who's with me?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 8:32, 8 replies)

Am thinking too many people appear to be confusing QOTW with Facebook status update

(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 4:19, 10 replies)

Shambles is a gay spaz and loves it up his bum-bum from other gay spazzes

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 1:00, 2 replies)

hospital managers are all whiny dick-aches

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 23:08, 29 replies)

i've got a spot on the inside of my nose
it's really irritating
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 17:34, 7 replies)