Making a sandwich
This probably isn’t a ritual, it is probably more of an OCD.
Many years ago when central heating was not too common and Bof was a nipper, I used to hate winter.
The kitchen was cold and the butter was always brick hard. My dear old gran would make a sandwich which had a lump of butter a quarter of an inch thick in the centre of a slice of bread that had started to break up because the butter wouldn’t spread.
The remaining 90% of the bread was ‘bare’.
Biting the sandwich would leave teeth marks on the butter.

As a result of this I spend a good few minutes carefully spreading the butter to every corner and edge of a slice of bread as I make a sarnie.

My kids used to watch in amazement as I followed my ritual sandwich preparation.
They may think I’m barking, but I am comfortable in the knowledge that I at least spared them the horror of eating a chunk of butter.
(bof, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 13:14, 10 replies)

God, that's bought back the repressed memory
And in the summer, the butter was a gooey mess - there was no middle ground.

*wipes a tear for 'I can't believe it's not butter'*
( snee held his breath since, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 13:33, closed)

I don't use my heating
as I'm a tightwad. For a while I too had to put up with clumps of butter- and ended up using a spoon and a lighter to melt it, then poured it over the bread.

A tip: Don't do this. It tastes metallicy and having a load of burnt spoons& tinfoil all over the place really doesn't make a good impression!
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 13:37, closed)

Heh...
"No officer, you've got it wrong...honest."
( snee held his breath since, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 13:40, closed)

Butter? Butter?
Luxury!

What my siblings and I were taught to call 'butter' was in fact Echo or Stork hard margarine.

What a horrible, horrible thing it was to have a chunk of that in your gob.

In fact, I eventually learned to sneak a sharp knife out of the drawer and slice the stuff in rectangles to fit the bread.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 13:56, closed)

Margarine?!
We used to DREAM of having margarine! All we had was a dead rat on a stick!
(Musuko, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 17:24, closed)

Dead rat on a stick?
You wer luuuky.

All we 'ad was a stick. An it wern't so much a stick as a twig really or more like a stalk actually.

But then we couldn't tell stalk from butter so that was OK.
(karnuvap, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 20:59, closed)

You think your lucky
I only had AIR!
( Mrs. Spatum, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 22:14, closed)

Bah Humbug
I got a real one:Until I moved out, only my dad was allowed to have butter-the rest of us, including my mom had to eat oleo.

Now my household goes through a pound of butter in 3 weeks. Of course, half of us are big fat Americans....
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 26 Nov 2008, 0:31, closed)

I love to eat a good chunk of butter
just by itself.

But it's true, when I'm preparing a sandwich it has to be evenly spread all over the bread.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 25 Nov 2008, 14:44, closed)

^ this much yes

(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Tue 25 Nov 2008, 17:08, closed)