My bloody mother
Ah the mother/daughter relationship. So much fun to be had.

It's taken me 40 years to realise that my mother is just a little bit mental. My younger brother realised much earlier than me and as a result, moved to Scotland without telling anyone when she boycotted his wedding.

Clue that should have alerted me to the fact that my mum is a selfish, alcoholic, "victim" included:
-making nuisance calls to her brother until 1471 came in
-refusing to come to my wedding because it was going to be in a catholic church.
-refusing to come to my brother's wedding -no one really knows why, she just had a big hissy fit
-me having to carry her to the bathroom when she came to live with me after my son was born because she was too drunk to walk
etc
etc

After many bouts of emotional blackmail and manipulation, resulting in my stress levels hitting the roof every time she was around, I decided I needed a break - and after a massive row one day I threw her out of my house.

A year or so down the line, and after lots of therapy, I got in contact to try and reconcile and deal with our issues. We went to family therapy but it was clear that we were not getting anywhere.

Counsellor to mum: and why are you here?
(Me - expecting some basic comment like "I want to make things work with my daughter, I don't understand why we don't get on" etc etc)
Mum: I want to find out why she is refusing to let me see my grandson and why she is using him as a weapon against me.

After a few sessions and another bout of depression, in Feb this year, I decide to walk away again for a break. She doesn't contact me.

In June, I got a letter from her telling me she was taking me to court to get an access order to see my son. I write explaining that it would be better for us to sort things out, and her relationship with my son would then also be restored. I also said that unfortunately, my son didn't want to see her as she always moaned at him.

October comes and my 12 year old and I go to court. My son talks to the CAFCAS officer and says he doesn't want to see grandma. The court agrees that it is up to my son whether he has contact with her as he's nearly 13 years old and can make his own decisions.

I have no idea why she thought that taking me to court would be a good idea and now sadly can't see a way that we will ever reconcile.

It felt like an article from Take A Break magazine....
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 19:39, 3 replies)

It's tough
but you have done all the right things.
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 20:23, closed)

And
Good on your lad, too. Well done him for not trying to be nice.
( Fronds are waving gently on, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 22:12, closed)

Oh.
I was thinking of offering you some cake, but I wouldn't want to disappoint you by being nice.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:39, closed)