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This is a question Family Feuds

Pooster tells us that a relative was once sent to the shops to buy an onion, while the rest of the family went on a daytrip while he was gone. Meanwhile, whole sections of our extended kin still haven't got over a wedding brawl fifteen years ago – tell us about families at war.

(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:24)
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My dads side of the family,
apart from my dad, are all hardcore born-again christians, belonging to a church investigated and closed for such things as brainwashing, cultism, imprisonment, fraud, embezzlement..

My parents both married in their early 20s, and dads family were not best pleased, as anyone less than Jesus is wicked and sinful, and my parents are entirely atheist.

When my mum was pregnant with me, my paternal aunt was also pregnant.
She was, and still is quite frankly, fucking massive. As is plainly obvious, being fucking massive whilst pregnant means that you have a really reduced chance of coming to term.

Fat aunt lost the baby, and I was born.
Unfortunately, laws of nature don't seem to apply to zealous nutcases, and she saw the loss of her unborn child as "God mistakenly striking me rather than that heathen" and REALLY BELIEVED IT.

Anyhow, one day a couple of months after birth, my dad is out, and my mum is downstairs with me in the cot beside her.

*dingdong*, it's hippo-aunt. Mum lets her in, idle pleasantries exchanged, etc. Mum goes upstairs briefly, and a slamming door is heard.

She comes downstairs, and I'm missing from the cot. Aunt is also conspicuous in her absence. Mum runs to the front door, and aunts tyres are screeching as she zooms away.

Mum rings my dad, can't get through.

Phone rings a few minutes later. It's the aunt, telling my mum how evil she is for marrying my dad, how she'll never see me again, and various other horrid shit. Points out that I will be christened, renamed, etc, raised as one of them. Hangs up.

Mum rings my nan (her mum) and picks her up quickly from round the corner. They drive to the mentalist baptist church a few miles away, and see my aunts car parked there..

They burst in to the church to confront my aunt and her mother, and literally end up kicking the shit out of them both in a packed church, and taking me back.

Somehow, they thought that kidnapping a baby with the intention of was what God wanted them to do.

And that is why I will never speak to them again.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 16:28, 8 replies)
Holy shit
You're well out of that my friend.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 16:37, closed)

Gah, tell me about it. They are pure scum. Seems to go about a bit in my family.

I've not even posted about my younger brother. Doing so would make me have a coronary with rage.
Suffice to say, I hate him more than the christians, and he's dead to the whole family. At not yet 17.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 16:41, closed)
Holy Fuck
That's insane.

Have a click for you, your Mum, and your grandma.

(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 16:43, closed)
Have a click from me too
Being "saved" from the god-botherers is a good thing.

It's amazing that people who profess to believe in a "good god", carry out disgusting acts in his name. Really it's just an excuse for them to impose their will on other people who can't stand up for themselves.

It's a great thing that your mum and grandma could do so!
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 17:51, closed)
i have to ask
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 21:34, closed)
...kernel-for-kernel, there's almost as much nuttiness in that sect of reality-avoidance as there is in scientology - only difference is, scientiologists are mainly in it for the money so for the most part are pretty harmless.

Buy your Mum and Nan two of their favourite tipple from me for standing up to nutbar zealots when it counted and get one for yourself while you're there ;)

Oh, and {clicky}
(, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 10:55, closed)
"God mistakenly striking me rather than that heathen"

But God never makes mistakes.
(, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 19:01, closed)
Bloody Hell!
They sound like real sociopaths!
(, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 15:29, closed)

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