You've got red on you
Shaun of the Dead (or SotD, acronym fans), what a fucking marvellous film.

I certainly thought so when it was released in the UK. I'd already watched it several times thanks to a dodgy hand-held camera copy I'd downloaded, and then I went to see it thrice at the cinema with different groups of friends. It's one of the few films I can still watch again and again without getting bored. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost already occupied a special place in my brain thanks to the superlative TV show ‘Spaced’ and I'd met Pegg briefly a couple of times previously at media events, thanks to some well-connected friends. Not quite stalker material yet, but I would have cheerfully gay-married either of them after SotD.

I was living in London when the DVD was released and the Virgin Records shop at Piccadilly Circus was carrying a limited-edition version with a fancy sleeve. I had to have it, but to complicate matters some of the cast would be signing copies in store. There was a good chance I wouldn't be able to get one as I was working late that evening and the demand was sure to be high.

Determination won me over in the end, so I snuck out of work early and made my way to Piccadilly Circus. The DVD signings were going on until 7:30pm; I arrived just after 5pm... to be greeted by a HUMONGOUS queue. It snaked its way around every aisle on the ground floor of the shop, out of the door and round the corner onto Piccadilly itself. I was gutted, there was no way there would be any left at this rate.

I joined the back of the line anyway, cursing my luck. As time dragged on, we moved slowly towards the store. It was a very warm evening and once inside the store itself, the sheer quantity of people made it nauseatingly hot. A few wilting fans ahead of me decided they couldn't be bothered with the ordeal and abandoned their places. It was thanks to them that I managed to snag one of the last remaining special-edition DVDs. I overheard jealous grumbling from a couple standing a few places behind me who had to make do with the standard version.

Clutching my precious DVD, I allowed myself to eavesdrop on the signing desk. It consisted of Nick Frost, Edgar Wright (the co-writer and director), Lucy Davis and Simon Pegg. I noticed that, almost without exception, every signee was asking for the same "To XXXXX, best wishes..." platitudes. The boredom etched onto each of the stars’ faces was plain to see. I resolved to give them something entertaining to write on my copy.

To keep us amused while we waited, there were several 'zombies' shambling around the store, many of whom I recognised as extras from the movie itself. They refused to break character, playing along with the crowd. It was a nice touch, and it sparked my brain into coming up with the perfect message for my DVD. I started wobbling with gleeful anticipation at my cleverness.

The clock ticked over the 7:30 mark and only a few stragglers remained behind me in the store, the doors now closed. As I approached the signing table, Pegg clocked me and gave me a nod of recognition. This almost made me wee with excitement, he actually remembered me!

Nick Frost was first. His hair was much longer than in the film and he was wearing glasses, looking rather sophisticated compared to the slob he plays. He spoke eloquently and seemed humbled to see so many fans turn up. I introduced myself, shook him firmly by the hand and had a little chat about his day. He admitted to being a bit jaded from the monotony of the signings. I said “could you write something from the film for me on the back?”. He laughed; the others looked round and smiled. “Makes a pleasant change, nice idea”, agreed Frost.

I told him quietly what I wanted him to write, but to my horror he looked shocked. He peered up over his glasses and told me “everyone thinks I’m a sweary pikey, thanks to SotD, but I hate swearing!" Bugger, I’d upset him. He started writing my message anyway, but he was glowing with embarrassment. Realising I suddenly had a perfect opportunity, I spluttered out “Nick, you’ve got red on you”. The others turned to see Frost’s bright red face and laughed. Happily, he chuckled too. It was enough to break the ice and he finished writing the message:

“Can I sign… any of you CUNTS… a DVD?” --Nick Frost

I thanked him and moved on to Edgar Wright, of whom I knew almost nothing. Wright was the creative force of the film but he doesn’t play a part himself. He seemed unusually wired after reading Frost’s contribution and started scribbling before I even had a chance to ask:

“FUCK THE MAN!” --Edgar Wright

I couldn’t recall the line and looked blankly at him. He detected my confusion and excitedly reminded me “That’s my favourite line! It’s the bit where the Sky News anchor is warning about the danger and Shaun wants to leave the house and Ed says “…but the man said…” and Shaun goes “FUCK THE MAN!”." I nodded appreciatively, a little scared of how enthusiastic anybody could be about that particular line and moved on to Lucy Davis.

She read the other two messages, giggled but looked a little stumped. “I can’t remember any good lines from Diane” (her character) she muttered. “Just write whatever you want” I replied, smiling and probably winking a little bit too. She had a saucy demeanour that just brings it out in me:

(I remembered Lucy's message incorrectly so I've edited it, forgive me, it's been over two years since I last set eyes upon this DVD)

“[chart cat] Sexy x” --Lucy Davis

Pleased with that result, I moved on to the final member of the signing table, Mr Simon Pegg himself. He greeted me auspiciously with lots of eye contact. “I know you from somewhere, don’t I?” he enquired. I was surprised he’d remembered at all so I recapped our previous encounters. “I’ve got the perfect line from the film” he said, with a twinkle in his eye:

“[chart cat]… the next time I see you, you’re DEAD” --Simon Pegg

Mission accomplished, I thanked them all again and left the store skipping down the street.

…but not before asking Nick Frost to add the words “Cock it!” to the disc itself, which he did … reluctantly.

EDIT: Here it is... I guess my secret identity is now blown, too.


( chart cat has an itch, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 5:43, 14 replies)

I'm so jealous I could throw up.
And I'm in Australia...so there's just no hope for me.

I *am* however, attending the 2nd annual Zombie takeover of the city next month...that reminds me, I have to email Legless.

Anyway, back on topic...we need pictures!
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 6:52, closed)

The sad epilogue to this tale
is that I am not in posession of the sacred DVD at the moment.

I lent it to a mate in London (2 years ago), then I moved to Japan. However, I will ask him to scan it in for me so fingers crossed I can put up the pics...

EDIT: He sent me the scans last night, I'll edit the original post...
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 7:08, closed)

I'm a bit jealous.
Although judging by the quality of his past couple of movies, Simon Pegg is no longer on my man-marry list.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 6:55, closed)

Yeah
he's fallen out of favour with me too. Sellout!
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 7:06, closed)

Top notch autograph action!
"Oh my god! She's drunk!"
would be my favourite quote

And yeah, Spaced - awesometastic!
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 7:52, closed)

I
am so fucking jelous right now :(
Thats what I get for living in Australia, in the sticks...

Good little tale tho!
(MissieMissie, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 8:44, closed)

Very jealous
but why would Lucy Davies want you to call her xxx? Surely calling her Lucy would be much friendlier...
(Barry Chuckle's Moustache, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:47, closed)

Wahey!
I'll give her a call and see what she says.

EDIT: Just received the scans and she actually wrote "[chart cat] Sexy x". How the memory fades over time.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:25, closed)

Swoons
But dare I say it 'Hot Fuzz' gets my vote more

Knows Edgar Wrights mum
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 21:45, closed)

Apparently...
...I was in the same year as EW at school, but I have absolutely no memory of him. I suspect he has equally strong memories of me. Still, nice to see Wells in "Hot Fuzz".
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Sun 19 Apr 2009, 5:14, closed)

This post is entirely brilliant...

making a celebrity feel slightly awkward is now on my 'things to do before I die' list.

*clicks aplenty*
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 11:38, closed)

All kinds of awesome...

*Clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 20 Apr 2009, 11:46, closed)

Very nice
Very nice indeed, cheers, matey!
( SpankyHanky, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 16:39, closed)