Wolverine
I've always been a big nerdy comic book reading freak. Its spilled over into just about every aspect of my life. Recently I introduced the Mrs to a mate I haven't seen for a while. He pulled me to one side and said:

"Spanky, you do realise who she looks like, don't you?"

"Erm, no..."

"She's the spitting image of Halo Jones!"

And fuck me - she is! Woo!

Anyway, going back a few years. I was seven or eight. Bored stupid. These were my pre-wanking days so I was at my most destructive.

I decided I wanted to be my all time ultimate hero (well, that month, anyway). I wanted to be Wolverine.

I had a plan. It was going to be fucking EXCELLENT!!!

When my mum wasn't looking I raided the cutlery draw and found some knives, big blunt fuckers we used for eating. With these stashed safely away I went to the shed and started my project.

I'd seen my dad use this stuff to sort out the guttering the previous weekend.

And that's where my dad found me about half an hour later, sitting on the floor bawling my eyes out.

"What's happened!?!" Shouts my old man.

And I turn to look at him. My left hand is a gooey, gammy, fucked up mess of household cutlery and industrial strength bonding agent. It burned my hand to fuck. I'd also somehow managed to attach the lid for the glue pot on top of my head.

My dad wasn't very pleased.

My mum wasn't either - we had soup for dinner that night.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 17:31, 7 replies)

Woo
for Halo Jones. Classic 2000AD
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 17:44, closed)

Who needs Wolverine...?

You're the superhero of the next generation Spanky.

EDIT: Years from now, wannabe children across the globe will be tattoo covered sexual deviants, strapping themselves to massive dildos, chucking one off over MIss Piggy, and fancying their sisters...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 18:03, closed)

Great job, Spanky
hehehe
(Lizard King, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 0:13, closed)

clickety click
I actually believe this one
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 0:55, closed)

You're hanging out with Halo Jones.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 6:41, closed)

I've met (Halo Artist) Ian Gibson a few times...
...Very nice chap - did me a big Full colour Halo and sold me a cover from 2000AD for a song.
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Sun 19 Apr 2009, 5:42, closed)

What....
no wanking?
I fail to believe this story purely on that basis.
(TheColonel, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 15:51, closed)