Imagine my surprise, when...
As a man who is, shall we say, well past the first flush of youth, I have to admit that I sometimes find the endless parade of nubile teenage flesh in pubs and clubs rather distracting. Naturally I sometimes let my mind wander, conjouring up unlikely fantasies, credibility-straining scenarios which would make them interested in a raddled old wreck like me - complete with the beer-gut, receding hairline and the dress-sense of a fight in Primark. But fantasies were all I expected them to be.

Except just once, the fantasy came true. A cute, doe-eyed brunette, maybe 19, started dancing with me - and I mean really with me. Amazingly, and against all previous expectations, I managed to keep up with her, trading moves which, for once, didn't have people around pointing and laughing. Even more amazingly, she didn't spin away into the crowd, but stayed with me, dancing, laughing, chatting, then eventually strolling with me back to her place.

It doesn't count as a one-night stand, simply because we didn't leave the bedroom except to grab food, tea or a piss, for the next two days. As I lay there, after another marathon session, I knew that this was probably a never-to-be-repeated moment, something to treasure. Nothing, I thought, could top this.

Until she told me that she was normally exclusively gay, but had broken up with her long-term girlfriend a few days ago. And had wanted to check that she wasn't missing anything...

"And, um, I didn't know men knew how to do that," she finished.



Ok, I know this sounds like a total wank-fantasy. Hence the title. But all my stories are basically true. Others are far better at inventing stories; I like to see how I can write about the true stuff.

And I also know that I've mentioned this before. But hell, wouldn't you?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 17 Feb 2014, 14:11, 6 replies)

Fucking tiny font...
...left me wondering if Otters could invent better stories.
(squigbobble existed, Mon 17 Feb 2014, 14:17, closed)

Clit-dick.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Feb 2014, 14:26, closed)

Nothing creepy about fat old men, hanging about in clubs full of teenagers.
Nothing creepy at all.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Feb 2014, 15:31, closed)

except taking them home and fucking them

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Feb 2014, 17:08, closed)

Yeah people over the age of 25
Should just fucking stay at home the old twats
( shitkicker, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 14:12, closed)

ignore the others
They are just jealous bastards
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 15:31, closed)