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This is a question Fantasists

Eddie Spunkbubble says: I used to know a sad case who fancied himself as a bit of a 007 and bragged that he always carried a loaded 9mm pistol in his attache case "just in case". Overheard by an off-duty copper, he was asked to make good on his claim. A packed lunch, red face and a stern warning "not to act the twat" and he never did it again. Tell us of Walter Mitty types.

(, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 11:40)
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my friend sarah was returning to her car in a public car park one day, when she saw a dozy bint reverse far too quickly and smack the fuck out of it
the woman accepted responsibility, but to be on the safe side, sarah asked a gentleman standing nearby if he would be a witness. he agreed readily, and gave her his details. he seemed pleasant enough, a portly balding chap in his mid 50's.

a few weeks later, the dozy bint has become a lying bitch, and swears blind that sarah reversed into her. typical council, the CCTV cameras weren't working and there was no record of the incident. so sarah called her witness to get him to help out.

"oh, i remember you. i'd love to help, but i'm afraid i can't, i'm on tour in australia with kylie minogue right now. yeah, i'm her backing dancer."

this was her first clue that all was not well with the witness. it was useless to point out that he was too fat and old to be on tour with chas'n'dave, never mind kylie. it was useless to point out that she had called a manchester phone number and he had answered it. it was useless to point out that he was a total mentalist. because he absolutely believed what he was saying, and even got quite detailed about his outfits.

sarah ended up claiming on her own policy.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

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