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This is a question Fantasists

Eddie Spunkbubble says: I used to know a sad case who fancied himself as a bit of a 007 and bragged that he always carried a loaded 9mm pistol in his attache case "just in case". Overheard by an off-duty copper, he was asked to make good on his claim. A packed lunch, red face and a stern warning "not to act the twat" and he never did it again. Tell us of Walter Mitty types.

(, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 11:40)
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Used to work with a bloke who felt that his Cornish birth made him some sort of massive workplace celebrity (in Surrey).
Anyway, his faux-wackiness was harmless enough but he would come back from the weekend with incredible tales of sexual encounters such as "I got on the train the other day, and this girl came up to me and basically TOLD me to get off with her at the next stop and go back to her flat with her. Well, after 3 hours of shagging later, I got back on the train etc".

These stories were mostly about strangers he met in nightclubs and stuff like that. We never saw him attracting any girls when we were out with him. We were probably scaring them off, he'd say.
He then started including people we knew in his stories, even including a colleague he was sharing a rented house with.

Anyway, his world came tumbling down when he told me he'd been on a work trip to Singapore with 3 other colleagues. One of them, a Romford girl who worked in one of our small London offices, had called his hotel room in the middle of the night and told him to get down there pronto and give her a good seeing to, according to his post-trip story. Sadly, once more, a lot of people were impressed. Grist to his mill.
I, however, was good friends with the girl in question and, at the office Christmas party in London, said "so, I heard about you and Cornish in Singapore, eh? *wink wink*". She looked at me like I'd just farted on her mother's corpse. "Wot you mean!? Wot's ee said?!"

I hid my glee as I told her his account of what happened and watched and she went puce with fury and stormed over in his direction, where he was once again holding court about another tale of derring do, probably.

I didn't stick around to see what she did but I'm sure it really wasn't pretty, and amazingly some people got the arse with ME for being a shit-stirrer. Bah.
(, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:16, 5 replies)
"She looked at me like I'd just farted on her mother's corpse."
Excellent - click.
(, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 16:21, closed)
terrible bullying of peej

(, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 17:58, closed)
How didn't this sentence escape your mouth:
"So I've just proven that Cornish is a nasty little lying cunt who makes up humiliating fantasies about female colleagues then tells the whole office (thereby qualifying himself for charges of sexual harassment), and you've got the gall to call me a shit stirrer, just because you were gullible enough to believe his bullshit.. Just how thick ARE you?"

(, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 18:55, closed)
Call it a dumbstruck moment.

(, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 19:09, closed)
Fair enough.

(, Wed 11 Jun 2014, 22:34, closed)

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