* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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my ex..../doctor poopfacePart (1)
we were in the middle of forplay when she gets on all fours and asks for some oral, so im there doing my thing and after a while go up for air...
just in time for her to blast one hell of an air biscuit at me
i retched, and puked all over her back end (which i've now found out she found highly arousing apparently)
never given oral again.....
Part (2)
last year i had to go to hospital for certain reasons, (kidney/bladder probs)
anywhoo i had to have a catheter(if you've had one you KNOW it fcuking hurts)
so there i was on the table and mr doc tells me how the procedure was to go down,
one tube down my japs eye and one in my bum hole..... i thought i was bad enough having one in the front but oooh no
anyway the tube was to relive pressure and about 1omins into it i needed to fart really badly but me being me thinks i can hold it
cue the tube launching out of my ring piece smacking into a nurses face and a trail of slime/lube/poo all over the floor
twas last nights kebab making an unpleasent arrival
sorry about length but you wanted fart storys....
(, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 19:39, Reply)
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