* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
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chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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i'm cross and tiredbecause i've been cleaning all morning. so i am grumpy enough to be disloyal and to rat on my brother.
my brother and his mate the "stinking lemon of death" are inordinately proud of their bodily functions. they both love to tell me in horrible detail because they know i'll be all girly and middle class and squealy about it.
so one night on holiday in the states when they were about 21, they had been out on the serious lash. they had both been consuming the 12% judas beer ("one of those and you betray yourself," as my brother said bitterly). my brother got up and released a cloud of toxic arse gas that woke his mate in the next bed.
not sure whether to be proud or disgusted, the lemon sat up and opened his mouth to say "the offender. it offends." or some such stupid male anal ritual.
unfortunately for the lemon, my brother had let rip right in front of the fan, which oscillated towards the lemon and flung the entire stinking beer fart into his open mouth. there was much gagging, retching and revenge.
i'm now saying anything to avoid going back to my scrubbing. but i wonder if beer is why men have so much more to say on this topic as they generally drink more beer. when i am queen of england, beer farts will be illegal - especially the ones that get caught noxiously in the air conditioning and make everyone keep suffering them, which is my brother's pet trick on family holidays.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 14 Jul 2007, 11:31,
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