* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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I cant believe i almost forgot about this one!I would've been 4, maybe 5, and i was in foster care with my brother (with our first set of foster parents who we stayed with for 18 months). Basically, the foster parents were cunts - they bought us boxing gloves for fucks sake and then made us fight each other... but because i was smaller than my brother, who was 2 years older, foster "dad" took control of my arms and started to punch for me. My bro had a bloody nose and a fat lip.
Then there was the time that i hungrily scoffed a banana sandwich, it was delicious... "can i have another please" i asked. What i was given was simply a thickly spread english mustard sandwich. Cunts.
There's a load more dodgy little tidbits but it gets me wound up thinking about them, plus, im lazy and i can't be bothered to type them.
Anyway, its not all bad. In one of the happier times i was play fighting with foster dad. He was wrestling me on the floor when i had a genius idea. i sat on his face (facing his, er... hair i guess?) and gave him a hot-beefy-eggo... directly into his mouth.
He immediately pushed me off and ran for the kitchen where he was physically sick in the sink.
hahaaa, cunt!
although, come to think of it, maybe the fart incident came first... that'd explain quite a lot.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 0:55, Reply)
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