No shit
We all know the bogs at Glastonbury are bad, legendarily so.

One year when a group of us went, Mad Tim and my sort-of-ex managed to last the entire weekend (friday afternoon to monday morning) without doing a poo. On the way home, they got out of the van and into the bogs at the first service station we stopped at pretty damn sharpish.

Can't understand how they managed to do that, if I don't don't have a great big dump in the morning I can't function for the rest of the day.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:09, 6 replies)

It's a dangerous risk
I attempted to go the entire weekend at Leeds (Thursday morning through to Monday morning) without "releasing otters into the pond".

I lasted until early evening on Sunday, by which point it was not safe for me to laugh or cough - never mind pass wind - without risking soiling myself.

Note for future festivals: toilets are in their worst condition on Sunday afternoons. And there's no loo roll anywhere.

Thank fuck for my ex's fresh-wipes.
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:15, closed)

I noticed that at about 6 in the morning
The bogs were cleaned.

I believe it's called "first dibs"...
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:26, closed)

This has been my approach ever since
Also, taking my own loo roll. Shitloads (pardon the pun) of it.
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:48, closed)

This brings back memories...
After V 2007, the ex-SO and I stopped at a Chinese restaurant. I took the time to wander off to the loo and found, to my intense delight, a pristine facility which I then proceeded to stink out with the contents of my intestine.

I swear I was a stone lighter on my way down the stairs with a bounce in my step...
( snee held his breath since, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:52, closed)

it's possible
Due to me having an arse that violates several international treaties on chemical weapons proliferation I would store it up for a weekend whenever I visited my ex-girlfriend's parents.

There's nothing like that first, thunderous evacuation after three days 'corked'
( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Sat 6 Jun 2009, 17:05, closed)

Your ex's parents
didn't keep a satisfactory bathroom?
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Sat 6 Jun 2009, 19:50, closed)