3 of the best
my career as a pugilist isn't exactly the stuff of legend. i was so small and spindly at school i wasn't really on the radar, and now i'm huge and generaly don't get picked on. my funniest school fight was a guy who ran his mouth about me when i started at a new school, we had a farm with ginger goats, he of course decided that a: they were sheep and b: due to a, obviously me and said sheep were engaged in a passionate affair. this led to a couple years of trading insults, to a point where he and his 'hard ' mates decided we must fight to the death on the school field at lunchtime. of course he didn't connect that living on a farm and spending your evenings lugging bales of hay and unruly animals around, as well as regular swimming and weights leaves you skinny but reasonably strong. he pushed me, i socked him in the side of the head, he went down, i started whaling on his kidneys while he hugged my legs and wept for mercy, i was disgusted at his lack of backbone and walked off. later i heard he beat me because i 'ran away' weird.
my proudest school fight to date though was with the school bully, you know the one neanderthal kid who has a full beard and motorbike licence and is the capt of the being popular team and all the other teams... well in year 11 near the end i was having another traumatic maths lesson, and he decided winding me up and stealing my pens and stuff was a wise idea. i lost my temper, picked up the nice steel-framed table i was sitting at and commenced battering said bully with it. after finally being pulled off i spent the rest of the day being congratulated by beleaguered year 8 & 9's for fucking him up.
no apologies for lenght. my motto: never apologise, never explain.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 10 Mar 2006, 15:35, Reply)