I used to be a school dinner lady
and broke up many fights, mostly half-arsed brawls between the little kids.

Now and then there'd be a real bully, though, who'd pick on other kids the minute the staff's backs were turned and terrorise them.

One skinny little git, Darren, all of 7, used to brazenly kick other kids and it was hard to stop him as he would strike randomly.

All the kids were nervous of him and I reckon he was still there only because of his 'behavioural difficulties' which made it hard to exclude him. Up to me, I'd have kicked his sorry ass all the way home.

One time, Darren had some kind of shoe problem and was given pathetic flip-flops to wear. I watched him go up to a tall stocky black girl, of the same age. He was about to mount his usual lightning kick attack when he remembered what he had on his feet.

So he shoved her instead. As she weighed half as much as him again, it had no effect, and she reflexively pushed him back. He went sprawling, and came running to me in a state of shock and awe.

'You shouldn't kick, Darren!' I said, trying hard not to laugh, and watched for the next 20 minutes or so as he got pushed over left, right and centre.

After that day, the little bastard cut out the kicking and tried being friendly instead.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 8:24, Reply)