Fearing for my life
When I was about ten, my great aunt told me a story that has stayed with me for all these years.

My great aunt was a superstitious soul, a deeply religious lady. But she wasn't gullible - she was one of those people who just knows when she was right about something.

I had reached the age where I had realised my own mortality. I was scared. I didn't want to die because I enjoyed life, and could not (and still don't) understand how I would go about not existing.

She put things into perspective; she made me realise that death forces you to live. It keeps the Earth fresh. She also told me some of her beliefs, one of which really stuck with me.

"When it is your time to go, Azrael, the angel of death, will appear before you. He may knock at your door, appear at your window, even appear in the film you are watching. But he will always announce himself with the following phrase;"

She lent foward. With an intense and focused look on her visage she whispered the angel's words. They sunk straight to my heart and I have never forgotten them. She continued;

"He will appear as a well dressed man. He may be amongst other people and he usually appears near water, as water cleanses the Earth. He will be a young man, happy, and from him you will hear the phrase I have told you"

--------------------------------Cut fowards 15 years--------------------------------

I was working as a projectionist in a small independent cinema in Arizona.

I worked the night shift; sleeping during the days, smoking and eating junk food during the dead hours.

During the day we showed some great independent cinema. Slacker movies, foreign films, cult stuff and even some pretty high brow pretencious stuff that people in Swiss Cottage like.

During the night, we would screen TV programmes. Documentaries, comedies, dramas. It was a small town, and in those days most people in the town didn't own a television.

One particular night, the night manager decided to screen some comedy. It was an odd choice, considering the weather that evening. It was pouring with rain, the thunder grumbling angrily at the innocent town.

It was one of those American sitcoms. From the look of the film case, all the characters looked vacantly, inexplicably happy - no sign of the dry, ironic humour I enjoyed so much from British comedies.

I put the film in the projector and flicked the switch. I laid back, lit up a joint, and started to watch.

The first thing I saw was a group of young folks, dancing around in the water. Immediately I saw a young man, and a young blonde. Presumably they were going out. They were all well dressed, the man especially - he seemed very happy.

The theme tune started up. It was an uplifting set of chords, which started to relax me.

But suddenly, I tensed up. The chorus of the song had started. The words. That phrase that my aunt had told me all those years ago - repeated over and over again! It was screaming at me through the thunder and rain! That awful phrase!




"I'll be there for you"
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:40, 3 replies)

Was it
Jon Bon Jovi?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 12:54, closed)

Heheheheheh.
Now if only Azrael had seen fit to carry off the entire cast of "Friends"... ah well. missed opportunity there, O Angel Of Death...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 18 Jul 2008, 13:00, closed)

Yup, the Loon's got it
This was adapted from a story an old drama teacher told us.
He was the coolest teacher we ever had. After two years at our school he left to start doing stand up.
He came back after a year and did his routine in the theatre one lunchtime. Obviously he told it much better than I just did, but I thought to honour it with this attempt.
I can't for the life of me remember his name though...
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 14:08, closed)