How clean is your house?"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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My sis-in-law's addictionEmma's a strange one. She's me wife's twin (not identical) and has 4 kids whom are all good, but constantly on the go. To go with them she has two dogs (one of which is more like a grizzly than dog) and god knows how many cats (due to kitten-making activities of the furry slags).
As the kids and the dogs play out the back garden on a trampoline most of the time this leads to Emma cleaning and hoovering like a fucking trojan.
Every single time I visit the place she's cleaning, one moment it's the kids clothes dirty, the next it's the dog-bear caked in mud running into the house, seriously there's days when she doesn't sit down at all for hours on end cleaning and washing. When she doesn't need to clean, she cleans anyway as she's suddenly bored with not having to clean, so she will re-hoover the same rooms she has already done just to be sure.
Coupled with the fact that she lived in Ireland for a few years, she has a subtle Irish turn of phrase which has led me to starting to call her Mrs Doyle.
So Mrs Doyle spends her typical day waking up at 5.30am, starting to get breakfast and school dinners together for the kids and getting their school uniforms ready. After this at 8am she walks them all to school, where 3 of them reside while the youngest is taken back home with her. The morning and afternoon is spent doing washing, ironing and looking after youngest which mostly involves tidying up after the pets and the young-un too. At 3pm she leaves her house to pickup the kids, comes home and cooks them all tea; all dishes are done by herself by which time her husband comes back from work and helps her out in the evening. By 7.30pm all kids are in bed, and by 9 so is Emma (after she has managed to do a 5 mile recreational jog around a local park to unwind). Superhumaaaaaaaaaaan.
To her twin, my wife, TAKE THE FUCKING HINT AND GET YOUR ASS OFF THE FUCKING SOFA YOU LAZY TWUNT, THE HOUSE DOESN'T CLEAN ITSELF :p
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Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:02,
9 replies)
Sorry to hear about your crippling disability.(
Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:07,
closed)
(, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 18:04, closed)
Did Trojans ever do the hoovering?I question your use of simile.
(, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 11:16, closed)
You got the wrong sister didn't you?She probably makes babies better than your wife too.
(, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 13:10, closed)
Wife SwapI wonder if as a twin your wife feels her sisters urges to clean but fights them off like a form of demonic possession!!
(, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 15:38, closed)
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