The Bucket List
My friends think I'm not living life to its fullest, so they have given me 20 tasks to do before I leave for university in the autumn. Most of them are on the disgusting side, which I hope qualifies this story for this question.

However, for me this is just an exercise in cleverly getting out of things - a skill which will definitely come in handy in the future.

Task 13 is 'Write an essay on slimy discharge.' So far I have done 300 words on my interpretation of their command: river pollution.

Thinking up a way to get out of task 11 ('Go down on a bleeding girl') is proving hard, though.
(MOTOR Master Of The Open Road, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 20:56, 10 replies)

It doesn't say from where she has to be bleeding.
Duh.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:00, closed)

The wording is ambiguous,
you could safely get on a crowded elevator a few times in a hospital and still keep your virginity.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:08, closed)

Face it
they are only your friends until you or they move on. Just lie and brazen it out like a Pakistani general or an Iranian prime minister.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:13, closed)

Good point
Although that would mean I'd have to cut the girl in some way before performing the act. And I'm not sure I can find a girl who would agree to that.
(MOTOR Master Of The Open Road, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:08, closed)

Find yourself an Emo girl,
she'll do the work for you.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:18, closed)

Bleeding could mean the same as bloody
In the sense that you just need to find someone to go down on. Doesn't matter if she's flying the Japanese flag.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:21, closed)

You could just copy and paste Pooflake's QOTW tale from last week.
It's the best 'slimy discharge' story I've read for a while.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:21, closed)

Apart from being messy, it's not particularly unpleasant.
For extra class, pull her tampon out with your teeth :)
( 4Q just lurking, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:45, closed)

Nowt
wrong with that. Gingers taste better, by the way.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 10:34, closed)

I believe that the technical term for this
is Haemogobbling
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 20:28, closed)