As a young, grotty flat dwelling herbert I once accidentally knocked a grilled sausage into a bucket of dirty water whilst attempting to make 'Toad in the Hole'.
The bucket of water had been sat there since we mopped the kitchen floor the day we moved in.

The bucket and sausage remained there until we moved out a year later. We kidded ourselves that it was some kind of experiment but we were really just being lazy fucks. We observed the following:-

-All the colour will leech out of a cooked sausage when submerged in water.
-Closely followed by the fat. This will form a layer on top of the water.
-A furry mould will develop on this layer of fat. This too, like the sausage and the fat, will be almost pure white in colour. It will all, however, smell ever so slightly of bleach.
-This fat/mould layer, named the 'grimosphere', will be capable of supporting an array of objects including lighters and coins.
-All of these items were swallowed up by the grimosphere. On the rare occassion when an item did penetrate the layer, the entire kitchen would be filled with a foul stench that cast an impenetrable black shadow over the souls of any beings unfortunate enough to cast their nostrils in its general direction.
-The is no level to which a young, twenty-something male will sink in his mission to do as little housekeeping as possible.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:17, 8 replies)

First office I worked in,
one of the floors was vacated, and builders sent in to do some work. The photocopier remained in the otherwise vacant floor, and much of my job involved photocopying. Not sure what the builders did, but they were gone pretty quick, leaving behind a nearly full bottle of milk. Over the next year, I was able to observe the milk go off, whilst I did my photocopying.

Fascinating stuff, decay. Never dared to sniff it, mind.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 22:16, closed)

At least you have been promoted to tea boy now MM.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 22:54, closed)

Dizzy heights, MT,
dizzy heights.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 9:40, closed)

Guntfuggle I love your stories but I bet the pussy was low with your mouldy test there.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 22:56, closed)

In a house like that
I reckon they'd have been hard pressed to sketch a rough idea of what a female looked like.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 0:02, closed)

Believe it or not, one of the four of us who lived there was an actual, real life, boobs and vagina female.
and a nurse to boot! I think she wanted to get rid of it but the idea of skimming off the grimosphere and spooning it into a bag/bin and pouring the water down the sink was too daunting a prospect for even the steeliest of minds.
In the end we snuck out under cover of darkness and left the whole sorry mess under a tree in the communal green space at the centre of the estate.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 11:53, closed)

Heh
that would have been a memorable find for whoever finally cleaned it up.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:59, closed)

I like to imagine that there was a murder nearby later that night
(if that doesn't sound too weird), and the police have been looking for 'The sausage in a bucket' murderer for the last ten years.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 12:11, closed)