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This is a question Filth!

Enzyme says: Tell us your tales of grot, grime, dirt, detritus and mess

(, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 13:04)
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Hand Hygiene
Sorry for the second post but had to share this one.

When I worked for the Civil Service we shared a floor with a recruitment agency and dependent on how much you paid the landlords they would fit a kitchenette in the office, where you could get water, make tea and coffee, etc. If you went for the cheaper option you had to get any drinking water from the men and women's toilets. The recruitment bosses were tightwads and their staff had to get any water from the toilet. You'd see them every day dutifully filling up large plastic bottles and nearly killing themselves hauling it back.

There was one guy however that used to do it for them and if the people in the office knew what he used to do first I think they'd bring their own supplies. Before he used to fill up, he'd take the empty bottle into the cubicle whilst he'd have a really noisy shit. Once finished he would then not wash his hands and fill up the bottle, which he'd then take out to his unsuspecting colleagues.

It came as no surprise that nearly the entire recruitment office staff one week were written off with the Norovirus.

(, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 20:55, 7 replies)
*In a Belgian Poirot accent*
Ahh...zis is a very...convincing and entertaining tale about 'some guy'...but I have some concerns about your story.

My suspicions were first aroused when I thought...'ow exactly did you know all zis? 'Ow deed you know zat 'e'd always have a noisy shit before filling up ze bottles...and 'ow did you know zat 'e never washed 'is 'ands. Well, maybe it iz a coincident. Maybe your toilet cycles coincided, or maybe you were spying, or 'ave a fetish. It wasn't enough to make a convincing argument...

But zen...I realised your user name - 'Hardfarter'. It all fell into place. You are an 'ardfarter - your farts are 'hard'. It iz obvious...you are zis 'some guy'. Zat is how you knew about zis man's toilet behaviour...you are ze one responsible for all zees infections!

Shame on you meester 'arfarter! 'Ow could you?
(, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 22:34, closed)
What a rubbish Belgian accent.

(, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 22:44, closed)
Wuah, haw, haw, haw, haw!

(, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 23:59, closed)

(, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 0:36, closed)
Why would you want to drink water from the toilet?
Were you working with a group of anthropomorphised canines?

Furry freak.
(, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 9:44, closed)
I gave that up, myself
The lid kept hitting me on the back of the neck
(, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 12:42, closed)
Drinking water tap in the toilets...
We would hear him doing a shit.

He'd bring the container out of the cubicle.

Anything else?
(, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 15:41, closed)

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