Dublin '05
In July this year, my mates and I went to an alcohol based trip to Dublin.

We were staying in a lovely hostel at a cost of around £8 a night and drinking inside was not allowed.

We had come back from the Porterhouse, possibly the best bar in the world ever, and I must have had about 8 pints of "Brainblasta", a lovely 7% ale, on top of about 5 pints of other ales. After getting back to the hostel, a bloke who we named "Australia" (due to his home nation) offered me a hell of a lot of Bacardi Black... and weed.

So, this is now about 5am and I'm absolutely trolleyed. We find someone's Daily Mail on the floor. Yes, even in Dublin, they have the Daily Mail. I suggest setting fire to it! hahahah! How stupid that would be!

My friend Turner sets fire to it.

Now, in Dublin, they don't take kindly to English loons setting fire to newspapers. Even if it is the Daily Mail.

So, I decide to put the fire out. Bearing in mind that this is in the middle of the street.
Since the only liquid I have is Bacardi Black, I decide that this would not be wise (because I wanted to drink more of it...obviously)

So, I do what any conscientious person would do in such a situation. I piss on it. It worked. The fire was put out. And I didn't burn my cock! Hurrah!

But it was during pissing on it that the Hostel workers has decided to call the police (or the garda as they are known in the land of Ireland).

Garda: "Look mate. Perhaps you should just leave now. I've only stopped drinking 45 minutes ago meself and I can't be fecking arsed with this." **Proceeds to car where he drives off**

So one of my mates, Shep and I end up staying on the streets for a night before finding another hostel.

Wasn't a great fire. But a good story nonetheless.

Apologies for 4th dimension
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Thu 3 Nov 2005, 17:08, Reply)