Fire!We were all in my aunt's kitchen at the back of her huge rambling Victorian house. I was only small and had wandered off to go to the loo, but given up after finding the hall full of smoke. "That was quick," my mum said after a few minutes. "Yes - it's all smoky," I replied.
I've never seen adults move so fast.
So, like my cousin who'd managed to set fire to the roof, tell us your fire stories.
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chthonic, Thu 3 Nov 2005, 9:11)
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It's always been burning since the world's been turningNow then. I'm a smoker (piss off, quit when I want to, you're more than welcome for the FREE nicotine you get from my 2nd hand smoke etc). I'm also the clumsiest person I've ever known, met, made love to (masturbation can be loving) or seen at a distance. fire and I know each other quite well. So, for you dear, dear g33ks, a veritable selection box of the flammable, inflammable and generally rather warm...
1. Cats. Fuzzy ones. In particular, a cat called Simba who once tried to lick up a drop of superglue. My mum loves candles- loves them; and it would seem Simba loved all the places candles were. Simba (god rest his soul- he didn't die of fire though) set his tail, mainly, on fire at least once a week, never showed any sign of interest, pain or 'hmm, what's that burning fur smell, mum?'.
2. Similar story, but involving me and the hair on my head, not my tail. An amorous evening of wine, women (well, me) and song (hifi) was brough to an abrupt end by the smell of burning hair. An acrid cloud of the stuff enveloped both myself and the lad I was being impaled by. we looked, we saw, we screamed and blew out the candle. Leaving me smouldering in the bad way in the dark in the nude. My waist length hair was about 8 inches shorter on one side, I have a few scars on my upper arm to this day and I now don't stick my head next to church candles, regardless of how much fun I'm having.
3. Viking burials. For house spiders. About two years ago, with my ex, we had found a house spider in our... you've guessed it, HOUSE. He was huge. Well, she was huge. Massive. seriously. With legs she was about 4 inches in diameter. I was in love, her name was Parker, and she was beautiful. when she died, gawd bless her, she received a viking service- we put her curled up little body on a pile of matches on top of a bit of that polystyrene circle thing you get with shop bought pizzas. we floated her on a bowl of water, set it all on fire and filled the kitchen with the most god awful stench imaginable.
4. I know one of the idiots that attempted arson on the bomber from Aylesbury who did the London bombings. Fucking idiot used diesel.
S'enough for now. Apologies for length, I've bought some cream for it.
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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 4 Nov 2005, 12:17,
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