Not me (it never is)
At college all our halls were really just big, old houses. Rooms had to be shared, but they were massive with huge bay windows and sweeping lawns.

One night, a young chap was having a "quiet smoke" whilst lying on his bed. Some ash fell onto the mattress and it caught light rather too quickly. Feeling a little unsure of what to do (perhaps tired and sleepy?), our friend frantically tried to bash the blaze out with towels and coats - all to no avail.

Looking round, he sees no choice but to open the bay window and heave the flaming mattress out - he's on the first floor so he pushes it out and it lands, burning away, on the garden below.

Perhaps it was the effect of his "cigarette", but out friend decides that, with the window open now, that the burning mattress below might be an amusing thing to land on were he to jump out of the window. So he does, and lands on the mattress sending up ashes and flames on impact. This is obviously great fun, as he rushes back in to repeat the jumping and landing process three more times before the fire brigade turn up and the police cart him away.
( groovegenerator The man who mistook his wife for his wife, Wed 3 Mar 2004, 10:38, Reply)