Smoke charge/Kitchen Mayhem
Had to de-lurk for this one!

About 7 years ago my bestest bud and I went on a general firebug/random vandalism spree. The story in question went like this. Said mate and I depart to garden centre to buy a certain Nitrate Fertiliser, which when mixed with melted sugar and then lit produces splendid plumes of thick white smoke. We had already successfully made several batches of this delight in our arms laboratory (which by day was his mum's kitchen)

Anyway, on the day in question yours truly hatched an ingenious plan to speed up production. We would pour the Nitrate straight into the pan and remove from the heat and allow to set.

The first panfull of this concoction went brilliantly so we decided to use the remainder of the nitrates all in one go. We thought we had cleaned the pan pretty thoroughly from the first batch. We hadn't.

We poured in some sugar and let it melt and then proceeded to pour the remaining nitrates into the pan. Small bits of residue from the first batch ignited the whole panfull which then sparked over igniting the first batch which was cooling nearby.

Cue 6 foot purple and white flames and a kitchen filled with smoke with two frenzied panicking teens - the scene was utter carnage - quickly thinking I raced the pan outside and let it burn out - I didnt notice the lumps of caramelised sugar burning through my hand due to the sheer adrenaline - the kitchen was blackened, although luckily it turned out to be mainly soot from all the smoke, only a few small welts were left in the new lino floor.

His mum came home and asked why the lino had melted, he explained that I had made a 'hot baked potato' which had 'exploded' hence me dropping the tray causing my burns and the melted lino - sheer lying genius!

7 years later I still have no hairs on my right hand and a few scars. Oops.
(Suomi_Finland_Perkele knocking 256 shades of shit out of your screen on, Thu 4 Mar 2004, 15:17, Reply)