Primary seven, age 11 or so.
This isn't a pleasant story, but I can still remember it clearly. We were becoming sexually curious and the in thing was 'debreeking', a Scottish term for forcibly removing someone's trousers, and indeed the M&S Y-fronts beneath.

I managed to avoid the indignity of having my still-little-boy willy exposed to my peers, but others in the class were less fortunate. Then the debreekers (I hasten to add I was not one of them, merely an observer) started on the girls.

Which is where I saw my first fanny. Well, kind of.

One girl was grabbed and an attempt made to pull down her white towelling pants for the titillation of the boys. She was having none of it though and made a valiant attempt to retain her undergarments on her person. Rather too valiant as it happens, as she pulled them up so tightly, they rode right up the crack in her minge, revealing to all the thick dark hairs which had, presumably, recently appeared in this location.

Looking back on it, I'm now somewhat disturbed that my first sight of a girl's bits was as a result of what was effectively sexual assault on a minor, but we didn't think of it like that at the time.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 18:34, 10 replies)

It's ok, don't fret.
Sexual assault on a minor by a group of minors is child's play.
And not to be confused with sexual assault on a miner.
Or indeed sexual assault on a miner by a group of minors.
I will not explore the other permutations...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 21:14, closed)

Or indeed what you get when you drop a piano down a pit shaft
A flat minor (yes, it works better when spoken aloud)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 21:23, closed)

I've just snotted on my shirt ;)
X
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 21:34, closed)

this one guy named morris etc
add shit comments here
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 21:56, closed)

Oh, come on...
We're straying away from the paedo-humour mother-lode now.

Let's not forget where we are!
;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 21:58, closed)

how about on an army camp?
a flat major!!!!

hilarious!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 23:04, closed)

How about a piano onto the top floor of a metals company?
A flat chrome-attic!

Shoot me now...
(General_Manchego, Sat 13 Aug 2011, 2:32, closed)

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 13 Aug 2011, 10:50, closed)

Shoots.
And scores.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 13 Aug 2011, 11:03, closed)

he shoots in the box

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sat 13 Aug 2011, 19:15, closed)