First Mammoth Porn Session
Went to a friend's house for his birthday mash up, we must have been about 15 and his parents had cleared off for the evening, leaving the 4 of us to our own devices.

So, (boringly, in hindsight) we did what we did every time we got together - drank a lot and smoked a load of shitty hash. I think I drifted off on the sofa about midnight, before being woken up by my friend excitedly saying "I've just found my step-dad's stash of porno tapes and speed". I think that definitely made his birthday.

We then spent the whole night - until about 5am I think - watching cassette after cassette of dodgy porn (guy had a bit of a fetish thing going on apparently) and my friends snorting all his speed. I didn't touch the stuff, never have never will, but there's nothing that'll put you off drugs faster than being the only one in the room not doing them and seeing the "I need to drink some water through my nose, it's burning" and a big glob of snot falling out of someone's nose before him holding one nostril closed and sniffing it all back up in one breath. Anyway, I digress...

We counted the tapes all hidden behind the drawers of this guy's, um, chest of drawers, and there were eighty six. Yes, eighty six VHS tapes of dodgy 80's porno for our viewing pleasure.

There's nothing quite like a 5 hour hardcore porn marathon with your mates to desensitize you! (and the fact I'd had the internet for a few years by this point and had already seen much, much worse)

Length? A little over 16 metres, back to back :)
(Mr_Lew, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:30, 5 replies)

You missed out
the Elephantidae.
(speedevil, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 18:51, closed)

Um...
You've lost me there mate!
(Mr_Lew, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 5:30, closed)

what
a singularly charmless story.
(username failed moderation, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 12:25, closed)

You know
I was searching for a way to say just this.
( pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 12:53, closed)

It wasn't
my finest hour I'll admit. Still, what would you have done that age?
(Mr_Lew, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 15:28, closed)